Nameless: Where Did I go Wrong?
by Akira the White
Summary: Just a short story that I made up, that seems to be in the same veil as School Days. *Notice 5:* I've written an alternate ending. Please note,the ending "New Light" is the canon ending.
1. Chapter 1

**Nameless: Where Did I go Wrong?**

**Chapters 1-4**

**by: Akira the White**

**Prologue**

It is summer. To most people, this is simply another season in the year; a season that is filled with hot weather, and bugs. To a student like me, it signified freedom. Freedom from the hell that is known as school. Free to have fun the way I want to, and to enjoy life. Oh, I love it.

If I think about it now, no two summers are exactly the same. It's always different in some way. This summer was no exception. However, this summer was different in a way that I wasn't used to. Different in a bad way as well. A summer in which I'd rather forget about half of it.

Oh, by the way, allow me to introduce myself. I doubt you'll find any entertainment in reading a story where you don't even know the main character's name. My name is James. James Rodwin. Simple name, but I like it. About myself…Hmm…I have lots of hobbies…I have a little sister…I love video games…And yeah, that's me in a nut shell. I'm your typical high school student. Or so I'd like to think. Anyways, enough of my boring and down to earth description of myself.

Over the course of a summer, I do a few things. I play video games, I practice piano, talk to friends, and engage in different kinds of other activities. This year however, I missed out on Badminton. It turns out the camp was full months before I even bothered applying. Damn, I hate it when procrastination turns around and kicks you in the shins like that. So, instead of my usual two weeks at Badminton Camp, I was left with nothing to do. Essentially, I was left to rot in my house the entire day. The sun doesn't take a break from nuclear fission. I'd like to ask where our air conditioning was the entire time.

For God Knows how many days on end, I'd get up. Play piano for a while, play video games for a long time, eat, and sleep. Simple life for the summer I guess. I should also mention I was assigned Physics homework and English homework over the summer. I've only ever seen summer homework in anime and TV shows. I never imagined for a moment that I'd actually get summer homework. Ugh, it's so dull and boring. And the worst part is you don't want to do it until summer vacation is over. And by that time, it's probably already too late.

All complaints and mulling from me asides, I'd usually go on Instant Messenger or Facebook to chat with friends and posts some stuff like photos or status updates. I talk with many of friends on Facebook, so it never really gets boring. There's always something interesting to talk about. One day in particular though, I took a special notice in one of my friends. And just who was that friend? She was someone that I had met in English class earlier this year. She looks really pretty too...Excuse me. I met her in English class, and we often chatted during the lunch break, and occasionally when we'd meet in the hallways. The reason her presence on Facebook grabbed my attention is that I usually don't see her online. I wouldn't go as far as to say that she was anti-social, but I rarely see her talk to anyone. And to be honest, even when I talked with her, we were only limited to minor chit-chat. Her name was Faith. Faith…Um…Let me see…McKay. Yea. Like I was saying though, seeing her online was a bit of a surprise. So, seizing upon this rare opportunity, I decided to open a chat box with her.

**Chapter 1: Exploring Our Differences**

**James R.: Yo. **

**Faith M.: Yo yourself. **

What? I re-read that line about 3 times. That's a strange way to greet someone.

**James R.: How's your summer so far?**

**Faith M.: Its…good. So far. Yourself?**

**James R.: Decent I guess. Although I missed out on a Badminton Camp I really wanted to go to.**

**Faith M.: Really? That's too bad. :(**

**James R.: Yea, it's a shame. Now I'm just in my house, playing piano, and gaming. -_- **

Well, it wasn't turning into anything stellar right now. It feels like the short conversations we've been having in the hallways. I suppose it is kind of dull. I wouldn't quite say like watching paint dry, but it's about on the same level as looking at a rock with a smile drawn onto it with a Sharpy.

**Faith M.: I've been working out lately. It's nice, you know? It is a good way to get rid of stress. **

**James R.: WOW! I'm so jealous. I'd never have the patience to do something like that…**

**Faith M: You should try it some time. **

**James R.: Yea, I agree. I'm really out of shape right now. **

Guess this was turning out to be the longest conversation I've ever had with Faith. Still nothing too ground breaking though.

**James R.: By the way, how did you do on your exams?**

**Faith M.: Ugh...I don't want to talk about it. **

Well. I suppose that's a dead giveaway. She did so well on the Presentation though. I thought she was an excellent student. Or maybe she's like one of those students who go, "Anything under 99 is a fail." No wait. That doesn't seem right. She doesn't seem like one of those people. I'd say the chances of her worried about a lower than 99% is about the same as a penguin being in the Arctic.

**James R.: Can you at least tell me what you got in Social? **

**Faith M.: 72. Out of 100, that is. T_T **

**James R.: Oh dear…Well, not to brag or anything. 92 out of 100.**

**Faith M.: WOW. I knew it. Ugh, exams didn't go too well for me. **

I'm pretty sure exams don't go too well for a lot of students. Heck, I'd be lying if I said that my marks were the fruits of my own studying. I was bribed. By the offer of a laptop and Xbox 360 if I succeed on my exams. And so, I delivered. Although something tells me that Faith didn't have that kind of motivation.

**James R.: Haha. It's okay. There's always next year. But Grade 11 is gonna be tough. **

**Faith M.: Yeah. For sure. **

**James R.: I thought you were good on exams though. You got 100% on your presentation, didn't you? **

**Faith M.: Well, I'm pretty sure that was just a fluke. **

**James R.: Who knows. Perhaps it was the result of your hard work. **

I didn't know what else to say. Dang, that sounded a bit to patronizing. I bet Abraham Lincoln would have wanted a word with me if I were threw out comments like that back in his time.

**Faith M.: Well, things have been different. Since…Well…Since February. **

Since February? Oh wait…If I remember correctly, isn't that around the same time she started acting erratically? It was around the final exams of the first semester when Faith started acting, well, not like herself. I never quite understood what happened then. But I was a bit worried about it. I never said anything to her, because I didn't know her that well.

**James R.: Do you mind telling me about it? **

**Faith M.: Sorry. It isn't something that I really want to talk about. **

**James R.: Oh, sorry. I didn't mean to be too nosy.**

**Faith M.: No worries. Anyhow, I need to go now. I'll talk to you later.**

**James R.: Right then. See you. **

**Faith M. is offline. **

Now, I have to say, that was by far the longest conversation I've ever had with Faith. It seemed somewhat surreal. Calling it a milestone was a bit far-fetched. But there was one thing that I was more preoccupied with. Back in February. Hmm…I don' exactly know what happened. I had somewhat of a guess though.

One time, back in May, when I was talking to Faith, something possessed me to ask a question. I asked her, "Do you have a boyfriend?" To which her response was no. She answered like how she usually answered my questions. However, I could tell her eyes had widened just a bit. My question had caught her off guard. I then followed up by saying, "I never bothered dating. It seems like a pointless waste of time." Her reaction was curious. She nodded her head in agreement. And then she lowered her head. Like she was remembering something she didn't want to. It's probably the way Romeo looked when he saw Tybalt's body. There was one thing that I found wrong though. If my memory served me right, she did have a boyfriend a while back. And if I also recall correctly, they also broke up. And at that very moment, I thought, "Oh damn. Maybe I shouldn't have brought that up." But in the end, nothing really happened, much to my relief.

Perhaps that was our catalyst there. It may have had something to do with her boyfriend. But since I hate being a nosy person, I decided to lay off. It isn't good to dig into other people's business like that, or so I figured. I'll give her some time. Maybe she'll feel comfortable enough to tell me someday. Until then, I guess I'll just hit the video games. And so, like a marathon runner who can see the finish line in sight, I dashed to my video game console. Figured I deserved it after all the piano I did. I was also hoping that Faith would show up again, but she didn't log back in for the rest of the day. Well, least she isn't like me. She doesn't stay on the couch all day playing games.

….

**Chapter 2: Dark Fact **

The next day, I got up, and did my usual routine; breakfast, piano, games. Whee. It was fun. Nah, not really. They say that if you do something you like over and over again, you eventually get bored of it. Well, this was when I was getting bored of video games. It was just the same thing over and over again. I switched between 4 games within a span of 1 hour. Ugh, I gotta take a break from this. At this point, I might as well be Atlas holding up the Earth. Not a pleasant thing.

However, during the evening hours, Faith had once again, mysteriously logged on to Facebook. And, just like last time, something tempted me to start a conversation with her.

**James R.: Hey. **

**Faith M.: Hey. **

**James R.: What's up?**

**Faith M.: Nothing much. Yourself?**

**James R.: Same here. **

**Faith M.: By the way, do you have Instant Messenger?**

**James R.: Yea.**

Now, up until this point, I hadn't used Instant Messenger in nearly a year. I used to use it to talk with my relatives in America, but after discovering Facebook, I ceased to use it. I wonder how much stuff I got in my inbox now…

**Faith M.: Okay. Could you add me on Instant Messenger? I hate Facebook chat. **

**James R.: Alright sure. Give me your e-mail. **

And so, with a few clicks of a mouse and a few presses of a button, I added Faith to my contacts in Instant Messenger.

**Faith M.: Awesome. **

**James R.: I didn't know you used Instant Messenger. I stopped using it after I found Facebook. **

**Faith M.: Haha. I used to chat with my friends a lot on Instant Messenger. But eventually, no one was online anymore. **

**James R.: Really? That happened to me as well. No one really seemed to be on.**

**Faith M.: Oh, another thing. Do you have a phone?**

Come to think of it, I just got a new phone. A smartphone. LG Optimus, I think? Much better than my outdated flip phone. Although, now I can't use my phone as a makeshift knife…

**James R.: Yea. Want my number?**

**Faith M.: Sure. I'll give you mine as well.**

And so, we also exchanged phone numbers. Whoa. Feels like I've suddenly gotten to know her better. Probably just a feeling, but strangers don't exchange phone number that often. Well, among students at least.

**James R.: Did I tell you that my phone does not have text? xD **

**Faith M.: Really? A smartphone with no text? D: **

**James R.: Yea. I don't use text messages often. Do you text?**

**Faith M.: I used to. I used to text to my friends a lot. But then, people just stopped responding. So…**

Ugh. I have this feeling like I tripped a land mine. You know, that's actually a good analogy. Talking with other human beings is like walking through a mine field. And you always know when you step on a mine.

**James R.: Well, I'm sure there's a reason. If you want, I'll text you. The reason I don't text is because I prefer voice to voice talking. **

**Faith M.: Nah. It's okay. I was born to be alone. **

My eyes turned into trays at that point. Now that is a statement I definitely did not like to hear. Especially after Grade 5. Oh God, Grades 5 and 6 were like a living hell for me. But that's a story for another day.

**James R.: Now that is a statement I don't like to hear. **

**Faith M.: Fine. I want to be alone. **

**James R.: …That's better. Solitude is probably something one desires. **

Wow. This conversation has just taken a huge leap in scope. I was starting to feel a bit uncomfortable here.

**Faith M.: No. **

**James R.: …**

Some must have possessed me just then. Once again, I suddenly had an urge to ask yet another question.

**James R.: Have you ever considered suicide before? **

Yea, I probably had my soul stripped by the devil or something for a moment.

**Faith M.: Have you?**

Wow. A redirection. Well, I'll answer truthfully then.

**James R.: I have. Once upon a time ago. **

What else could I say? God, Grade 5 and 6. I just want to forget all of that. Oops. Getting off topic again.

**Faith M.: Was it just thoughts, or were you serious? **

**James R.: I was dead serious. I never followed through though. **

**Faith M.: Hmm. Alright then. I guess I'll tell you. **

Tell me what? I somehow get the feeling this was going to be some big revelation, like finding out who the culprit is in a Sherlock Holmes novel.

**Faith M.: I did as well. I was dead serious too. But I was too weak to do it.**

At the very moment, I was thinking "Holy $%#..." Can you blame me? I'm pretty sure most people would have reacted this way. I mean, I don't mind telling others about my own endeavours, but I didn't think Faith would be the type who'd think about suicide. She seemed so innocent.

**James R.: How come? What happened? **

**Faith M.: It was back in February. Right after the final exams. **

**James R.: Yea? **

**Faith M.: I used to have a boyfriend. I used to date as well.**

Okay. Well, that confirms what I had suspected earlier. So, I was right. It was something about that.

**Faith M.: I've been through a lot of relationships before. But the one with him, my most recent boyfriend. It was different. It wasn't like the others. And by the way, don't think this is some stupid high school thing.**

Even though she couldn't see it, I raised up both hands in the air like I had a gun pointed at me before I continued typing.

**James R.: I don't think this is stupid at all. Please continue. **

Although I have to admit, I do remember a similar scenario from an anime called "School Days". It was uh, I think Kotonoha who committed suicide? She gave a speech similar to what Faith was saying right now.

**Faith M.: He was different from the others. He accepted me for who I was; all the good, along with all the bad. **

This was starting to sound like something out of Lucky Star now. But my gaze remained on the screen.

**Faith M.: I felt the same way for him. But then, something happened. At about 3:00 in the morning one day, he called me. He said he was breaking up with me. He said that if he didn't I would be in danger. And then he hung on me. Just like that.**

By this time, I was pretty sure I know who that boyfriend was now. I didn't know him too well, but he seemed kind of like me. With the exception that he doesn't share my physical weakness, split personality, or addiction to video games.

**James R.: Really? Just like that? Did he say what kind of danger?**

I should also mention at this point I had this sinking feeling in my stomach. Kind of like how I felt when I knew I was in deep trouble. I'll admit. I am scared. Faith's suicidal thoughts were for a whole different reason. And her reason seemed darker than mine.

**Faith M.: No. He never told me. I kept thinking to myself, "What the hell can possibly be that dangerous?" Ever since that day's he become cold to me. He's changed. **

**James R.: ? Changed how? **

And I am officially scared shitless. My hands were shaking. It feels like the Grim Reaper is coming for my soul. Or something.

**Faith M.: He used to never hang around girls. Now whenever I see him, he's always with a group of his friends and some girls. He's changed his hairstyle, even his personality has changed. He's like a completely different person. Whenever I try to talk to him, he just says a word and then he's gone. **

**James R.: … **

**Faith M.: And that was when I truly began to despair. I cried all the time. I didn't understand. I never knew why he left me. It didn't make sense. **

**James R.: I see. I'm sorry to hear that. **

Alright. I need to calm down. As for the last few minutes, I think it is safe to say that Faith has told me something that she wouldn't have told to many people. Her story really scares me. Similar to something out of those tragedy stories. I probably can't even imagine how she feels, and I'm not even sure how to respond to her anymore. I must be getting melancholic if that's the best I can come up with.

**James R.: What happened after? And also, do you think he was a threat to you?**

**Faith M.: He's ignoring me. I also asked him would he kill me? He said he wouldn't. **

**James R.: Hmm…So it seems he genuinely cares about you. He doesn't appear to pose the danger. **

**Faith M.: I know. I asked him about all the people he's been hanging out with. He said that they don't matter to him.**

**James R.: But you do? It seems a bit unorthodox. **

**Faith M.: I don't know what to think of him anymore. I've lost all feelings for him now. I don't like the person he's becoming. It is strange. I've gone through other relationships before and I've been just fine. And yet, I just can't seem to get over this one. **

Yea. I don't know how to deal with this. I don't know anything when it comes to boy and girl relationships. I've always wanted one, but I've never had one. I think such relationships lack a bit of logic as well…

**James R.: And so, what have you decided to do? **

**Faith M.: I'm going to change myself. I'm going to try to move on. **

**James R.: I see. **

**Faith M.: I've also decided to keep away from others. I'm going to push my friends away. So that they won't get hurt. **

Okay, this now sounds like something out of Final Fantasy. Except I wasn't seeing the same kind of heroism and stuff. This was worrying me.

**James R.: Do you remember what I said during English class? **

Heck, I practically yelled it. I'm not a very quiet person, as my personality would dictate. But it was the truth to some extent.

**James R.: I said that I didn't want to get married. **

**Faith M.: Yea, I remember. **

**James R.: Do you know why? It was because I was afraid that anyone who I got close to would only end up getting hurt. **

**Faith M.: Yea. That's the same reason why I've decided to never seek a relationship with someone again. Because I don't want to hurt anyone else. I'd be willing to die alone, if it means that no one else is hurt. **

Yea. I cringed there too. Another one of those lines that I hate to hear. And I usually only hear them in movies or games. But there is some truth to that. Do onto other as you would do to yourself. It makes sense. Although I certainly don't want to see my friend saying that. It'll make me depressed.

**James R.: I get what you mean. **

**Faith M.: Yea. **

I'm outta here. I gotta get to bed. It's almost 1 in the morning.

**James R.: I'm sorry. But I got to go. Its way past my bed time already. But thanks for taking time to share your story with me. **

**Faith M.: Yea. Good night. **

** James R. has signed out. **

Well. That was a lot of stuff she said to me. And to be honest, I felt scared. Very scared. Just as I thought I was getting to know her better, suddenly I find out about this. It was like I didn't know her at all. I guess this is what Rosemary meant when she talked about Raiden's room in Metal Gear Solid. It is almost impossible to judge a book by its cover. Putting all that aside, I think I'll take a nice long nap to remedy my frozen brain. There isn't much else I can to at 1 in the morning.

…..

The next day, in the morning, I decided to skip any and all morning routines (sorry Dad), and jumped up right onto Instant Messenger. Not surprisingly, Faith was already online. Though I still feel like I just watched a SAW movie with surround sound and 3D, I nonetheless decided to strike up a conversation with her.

**James R.: Hey. **

**Faith M.: Hey. **

**James R.: Sorry I had to bail out on you like that. It was getting late. Do you mind continuing from where you left off? **

**Faith M.: Sure. **

Summoning all the courage I had, I braced myself. Oh heck, what I am saying. This isn't that scary, right?

**Faith M.: Like I was saying, after what happened, I never felt more alone. And actually, I've only told two other people about this. One of them, my friend, totally freaked out. She kept saying, "Don't do it! Don't do it! Don't you think about that for a second, you hear?" She even texted me to make sure. **

Seemed like a plausible reaction. Like they teach in CALM, if you think someone is going to commit suicide, you must not keep quiet. Racking my brains again, I think it is actually a criminal offense if you know someone is going to attempt suicide and do nothing to stop it. But that wasn't the issue here.

**James R.: It is understandable. I doubt many people can hear that and remain calm. **

**Faith M.: And yet you are. Why is that? **

**James R.: Calm? I'm anything but calm right now. But I'm not freaking out. Please continue. **

I wasn't lying. My heart was still racing at this point. Natural human reaction to a scary situation. Animals run away from fire for a reason, you know.

**Faith M.: Right. There was one other person I told. Akira. And actually. I didn't know him very well. He was in the same school as me for three years. But we never really talked. One day, when I was sitting alone, he sat down beside me, and started talking to me. **

Akira? Well, there's a surprise. And actually, I should mention that Akira was a classmate of mine that I knew from History Class. He seemed like a nice person. I didn't know him too well, but I talked to him every once in a while. I did notice that he and Faith seemed to be sort of close. I guess that explains it.

**James R.: Akira? **

**Faith M.: Yea. He was always cheerful. Kind. Caring. We'd talk pretty often. Gradually, I opened up to him. He is a really good person. **

**James R.: Hmm. **

**Faith M.: Eventually, I told him about what happened to me. Some of it, anyways. He listened to everything I said. But in the end, just said, "You should probably move on. Forget about it. He probably doesn't have feelings for you anymore." **

**James R.: Yea. That sounds like something he would say. **

**Faith M.: I didn't tell him everything. Because his reactions at that point weren't…Well…**

**James R.: I know what you mean. **

I'd imagine that Akira as someone who really cares about his friends. Maybe even more so than me. If he heard the rest of Faith's story, then I'm sure he'd freak out as well. I suppose that kind of proves that he's a nice person. I'm unsure as to whether he'd walk off a cliff with someone though.

**Faith M.: But I owed a lot to him. He saved me from myself. He was so selfless, it was admirable. **

**James R.: Sounds like my story. A few close friends helped me get through some really bad times. **

I still remember how supportive my friends were during my time. They didn't care if they got ridiculed or not. They just wanted to lend a hand.

**Faith M.: Is that so? Interesting. Well. That's the end of my story. **

**James R.: I see. Though I'll admit, I'm scared shitless right now, thanks for taking the time to share your story with me. **

**Faith M.: Yea. **

**James R.: Hey, you up for a game?**

**Faith M.: Sure. **

I'll admit that wasn't the end of the conversation right there. We did talk about more about stuff in between. Like how our classmates would bully us, how they'd slander us. It brought up a lot of bad memories from my past. And probably Faith's as well. But in the end, we did play games over Instant Messenger for a while. After that day, we also chatted about other things. Things that weren't as serious. Things that a regular high school students would talk about. It relieved me. She seemed back to normal. There was one other conversation that was noteworthy though.

**Faith M.: Can I tell you something? **

**James R.: Sure. Go ahead. **

**Faith M.: I didn't say this before. But you remind me of him. My boyfriend. **

**James R.: Do I now? In what way?**

**Faith M.: The way you talk. You use big words. Redundant, presume, blatant, etc. It's so similar to how he talked. **

**James R.: Oh, I see. Actually, I only started talking like that to imitate Koizumi. **

**Faith M.: After we met in English Class, I told him about you. How similar you two were. He said he wanted to meet you. Maybe get to know you better. **

**James R.: Really? Haha. I'm not someone you want to talk to that often. **

**Faith M.: I don't think that's true. The way you act so openly towards others is curious though. You weren't ever secretive. Remember that time you describe what your room looked like to our class?**

Yea, I remember. I was both bored and hyper, so I decided to describe what my room looked like, down to the least detail; where I kept my glasses and opticals, where I kept my knives, where I kept my matches and fishbowl, and so on. It seemed everyone had a blast out of it.

**James R.: Oh yeah. Haha. I went a bit overboard with that. **

**Faith M.: Haha. That true, but I have to admit, being around you made me feel much better. You made my day on more than one occasion.**

**James R.: Oh? I'm certainly glad to hear that. **

When I acted the way I did back then, no one ever said anything good about it. It was always slander and ridicule. But eventually, it just seemed to fit into place. After Grade 9, everyone began acting more friendly to me. I never forgot that feeling. The sense that I _belonged_. That's why I continued to act the way I do. To make sure that no one forgets who I am. To make sure that I'm accepted for who I am.

**Faith M.: Yeah. : ) One other thing. I talked to Akira for a while. I've decided to not push my friends away. There are just some people I could never do that too. Like Akira. He saved my life. I could never be mean to him. **

**James R.: I'm relieved to hear that as well. **

**Faith M.: Perhaps you as well. I'm glad that I told you everything. **

**James R.: I certainly hope so. **

**Faith M.: I have to go now. Take care. **

**James R.: Right. Later. **

**Faith M. has signed out. **

The atmosphere was a lot less tense now. For me at least. I don't have that odd sinking feeling in my stomach anymore. I am certainly relieved to hear that she wouldn't distance herself from me. She had been seriously considering it though. And actually, it is strange. She wasn't a really close friend or anything, and yet I feel relieved as though we've been friends for years. It's an odd feeling that I can't really put into words.

However, my feeling of relief was to be short lived.

…

A few days after, when I tried talking to her again, Faith said that she wasn't feeling well, and didn't want to talk. So I said, "Alright then, well, I'm going to play games for a bit, talk to you later." Problem was there wasn't a later. Since that day, she hasn't been online. And the thing that bothered me the most was her status updates.

At first it was, "I want to be left alone. Sorry."

Then it was, "I'm going away. It is my choice."

"I don't have much time left."

"Forgive me for this. But this is something I must do.

After about the fourth or so similar status, I began to panic. And I mean panic. I wasn't sure what to do.

I could only try to guess what was going on. Of course, I had no way of knowing who she's talking to. She didn't attach a name to any of her status updates. But I could only surmise that it was to me. It was the only thing I could assume. I was worried. More worried than I've ever been for the past while. I even decided to talk to some of her friends about it. They all said the same thing; I was overreacting. If I left her alone for a while, she'd be fine. Naturally, I didn't buy a word of it. But there wasn't anything I could do.

I could only wait.

….

**Chapter 3: Shattered Memories**

15 days. It's been 15 days since I last spoke to her. I've tried talking to her over Instant Messenger and Facebook. Nothing. Absolutely no response. In every case, she would be online for a moment, I would try to message her, but by the time I've typed a few words she's gone already. I considered calling her cell, but I thought that I might escalate the situation if I did so. And thus, after 15 days, I still haven't heard a word from her.

I sighed. What the hell was going on? My best guess would be that she's depressed about something. Maybe it had something do with her ex-boyfriend. Yeah, that's it. She probably feels bad about saying so much to me that she doesn't feel comfortable talking to me anymore. Despite my best efforts to convince myself that was the case, it didn't seem as simple as that. If it were just about her boyfriend and not me, why did she answer Akira's call? And actually, the truth is, I was so worried that I had Akira call Faith. She answered his call, chatted with him for a bit, and hung up. Or so Akira told me. Nothing out of the ordinary there, according to him. But I can't be sure if Akira is telling the truth or not. I mentally kicked myself there. Akira would never lie to me about something like this.

So, with much time on my hands, I went and hit the video game system. It's sort of a marvel. Video games immerse me in a completely different world. I liken it to a portal into another world. When I play games, most of the day's problems and worries just simply disappear. Instead, I'm concerned about the characters and their problems. Some people might say that it's a form of escape, but I'd shrug that off and say that it's no different from a good book or a movie. I ended up playing Duty's Call: Modern Frontiers with my online buddies for a bit. It felt good. Video games are so much more enjoyable when you play it with people you can associate with. You sort of feel a connection in that moment, you know what I mean? Well, I guess I can't really describe this feeling well. But I like it.

"Hey, James, you haven't played for a long time. I noticed that you had been offline for close to 7 days now. Is something the matter?" From out of the blue, one of my friends shot an inquiry at me.

"I was having some personal issues. Nothing too much though." I tried to dodge the question as best I could. It's not like I could simply discuss the situation regarding Faith with him. "Yo, they have a Hind there. Switch to your Anti-Air Class."

Obviously, he didn't fall for it that easily. "Yea sure. Look man, if I know you as well as I do, then 7 days off video games means it something serious. You sure you don't want to talk about it?" He sounded suspicious now. Ugh.

I sighed deeply. He wasn't getting the point. I don't want to talk about this. I don't want to be reminded of this. "Look Sam, you've got it all wrong. I'm absolutely fine. There isn't a problem now."

"Whatever man. If you need someone to talk to, I'm all ears." Sam said that like we're old buddies or something. Well, he's a friend, but I wasn't going to compare him to my best friend. But he's a good friend. So I guess it was alright.

"Right. Thanks. By the way, I could use some more clips. You got any extra mags?"

…

And so, I spent the rest of the afternoon playing games with some of my friends. It was fun. Playing video games is always fun. But even as I fired imaginary guns at imaginary enemies, there was still one thing that didn't leaving me mind. The lack of communication with Faith was still troubling me. The reason I was so worried is because we were talking fine, right up until the point where she practically vanished. It was completely without warning. That's what troubling me. Well, I'll give it a few more days. I did ask Akira to put in a word for me. Maybe she'll show up again tomorrow.

And so, without another thought, I pushed through the rest of the day. I will admit that I once again left my Physics homework untouched, but whatever. I'll have plenty of time to solve that stuff later.

…

**Chapter 4: Separate Ways**

Day 16. Once again, I had stayed up past 12:00, seeing if Faith would go on IM or Facebook. Ugh, I feel totally beat. It was close to 9:00 AM, but I still didn't feel like waking up. I refused to wake up. Right up until the point where I was practically dragged out of bed by my little sister. She could pass for an alarm clock. If only she didn't yank on my arms as hard as she did.

After eating my usual cereal for breakfast, I was forced onto the piano, as per usual. It's always like this. I eat breakfast, dad shoves piano into my face. But whatever. I'm learning a new song anyways; one that sounds really good, and one that I've been trying to get right for ages. So, it was an early morning hour well spent, at least in my opinion. Of course though, the next hour was outright hellish. Every time my sister had to play piano, I have to teach her the song. And since she happens to be the kind who doesn't pay attention to the instructions of big brother, I was literally yelling at her for an hour, telling her how to play every single little measure right. I think this served as solid proof that I cannot teach. If I lose my patience at a family member like this, God Knows what I would do to a kid who I didn't know personally.

I don't recall what I did in the afternoon. Probably read a book or played video games. The reason was because of what happened at night. Faith was on Instant Messenger. For the first time in 15 days. I excitedly opened up a chat box with her.

**James R.: Hey, are you busy right now? **

**Faith M.: No. Why? **

Alright. Now I can figure out what the hell was going on over the past 15 days.

**James R.: Alright then. I'll get to the point, if you don't mind. **

**Faith M.: Sure. I don't mind. **

I hated to do this, and I sure was as hell scared to do this. But swallowing my fear, I was blunt.

**James R.: What happened? What the $#! happened? **

**Faith M.: …I'm sorry. **

Huh? What? What? What's she sorry about? Was it that she felt guilty about leaving me in the dark for 15 days? Or what?

**James R.: Don't be sorry. Not right now at least. Tell me what happened. **

**Faith M.: Do you remember what I said to you earlier? **

I could practically hear the gears in my head starting to spin. Yeah, a while back. I remember. You said that you were going to distance yourself away from me. But you said you decided you wouldn't do that. What in the hell?

**James R.: Yeah. I remember. **

**Faith M.: I said that I was going to keep you away from me. **

Okay. But you said you weren't going to do that. I was starting to become very confused. So if I'm not getting the wrong idea here…

**James R.: I know. But I was hoping that it would never come down to that. For the past 15 days, I was staying up late, I was trying to message you every way I could. Nothing. I was worried. I was going to call you except**

**Faith M.: Don't concern yourself over me. **

…Can she read minds or something? This is starting to get a bit hairy.

**James R.: Except I was afraid you would say that. **

**Faith M.: You knew I would do this. Why did you even bother? **

Once again, I was confused. You said you wouldn't do this. That's why I was worried. I could feel the tension inside me start to rise. Where's my chill pill? There wasn't a Tic Tac within an arm's length of me.

**James R.: Do I need a reason to be worried about a friend? **

**Faith M.: Well, what exactly is it about me? I'm under the impression you don't do this to a lot of your friends. **

Damn. Nail on the head right there. But this wasn't the time to be making snide remarks.

**James R.: Yes. You are correct. There are some friends that I just don't want to lose.**

**Faith M.: Is that right? **

**James R.: Do you remember? What you had said? You said that you wouldn't distance yourself from friends. I still have the conversation log. Did you go back on your words? **

**Faith M.: Times change. **

What in the Samuel hell…Are you serious? You're going back on your word? You're going to distance yourself from me? After all you had said, you had my hopes up. What is up with this? I was starting to feel slightly angry now.

**James R.: Indeed. I have another question for you then. Why just me? I didn't see other people get removed from your friend list on Facebook. Just me. What is it about me that you hate so much? **

Faith didn't respond for a moment. I get the feeling she was hesitating. Wait, does this mean she really finds something off with me? Please toss me a rope. I'm going to die of anxiety here.

**Faith M.: It isn't you. It's me. You're a genuine friend. **

Alright. You've told me that you think of me as a friend. So then why? Why did you remove your presence from my life? I want to know. If you think of me as a friend, why would you do this do me?

**James R.: Then why? Why do are you doing this? If you think of me as a friend, then why? **

**Faith M.: Because of that. I can see you as a true friend. Smart, kind-hearted, caring. But that is why we cannot be friends. If you try to get close to me, it will be like trying to take roasted chestnuts off an open fire; you'll only get burnt. **

I was speechless at this point. If I were to make sense of this, she was saying that because we would have been good friends, we can't be friends? This doesn't make sense…

**James R.: What? **

**Faith M.: Maybe it would be best if we weren't friends. **

She said that with no hesitation. I could literally feel the anger boiling inside me. I wanted to smash that damn message on my computer screen right now. Son of a bitch.

**James R.: Even if I was running a fool's errand the entire time, it felt like an errand worth running to me. **

**Faith M.: …Then you'll only get hurt. Don't say I didn't warn you. **

I was clenching my fists now. She was _threatening_ me? Has the world gone insane? Was I hallucinating?

**James R.: …**

**James R.: Well, if this is what you want, if this is what you wish for**

**Faith M.: I don't want anything. I don't wish for anything. **

I clenched my teeth. I was seriously starting to get pissed. Not at her but at myself. Why was I so powerless to stop this? I could literally see her turning her back to me as she was slowly walking out of my life. Oh my god, not this again, why was I losing another friend like this? This can't be happening!

**James R.: …Well. Then either way, thanks for telling me the truth. **

**Faith M.: How do you know this is the truth? **

**James R.: I don't care. As long as I have a reason, I don't care if it's the truth or a lie. If this is the way our friendship ends**

**Faith M.: I don't have friends. I don't have a life. **

I wanted to yells expletives at the top of my lungs upon seeing that. The anger inside me was probably past the boiling point now. Her remarks weren't helping a bit.

**James R.: Was I nothing to you? Did our friendship never matter to you? I know neither of us ever said anything, but I always thought of us as friends! **

Or maybe, it was only me who thought that way. I have no way of knowing now, if this is the end.

**Faith M.: Ha. It isn't like that. **

**James R.: …Well, I guess this is goodbye then. If this is the last time we ever talk, I want you to know I'm sorry.**

**Faith M.: Don't be. It doesn't matter anyways. Farewell. **

**Faith M. has signed out.**

I was utterly shell-shocked still. Faith had appeared on Instant Messenger, only to tell me she's going to stop being my friend. Ha. Ha. This had better be a joke. Tell me when to laugh. No, it wasn't a joke. But I still can't believe it. It just…doesn't seem possible. Overreacting, eh? Well, it seems my initial reaction was spot on.

"I can't take this anymore. I'm going to sleep."

Only I didn't sleep until 3 hours after I hit the bed. I felt more depressed than ever. She wasn't my girlfriend or anything. So why do I feel so bad about losing her? The human mind can be so complex.

And so, I decided to lie silently in my bed, until the next day.

….


	2. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5: The Hateful Thing that Cannot Be Expressed**

Shell shocked. That was the only way I could describe how I felt after that conversation. I was so confused. Why? Faith didn't give a reason for bailing out on me (not one that I could understand), and she even threatens me. The world must have started rotating in the other direction, because I have no idea what was going on. I should also mention that it was the first time I've lost a significant amount of sleep in a long time. Well, I guess its because these kinds of thing doesn't happen to me that often.

Although, that does bring up something I've heard before. Apparently, everyone has to experience one major heartbreak or traumatizing experience. And they had to be ready for that. I feel like being dragged off to a mental asylum and ogling counselors for support right now. What else can I do? I can't do anything about my problems.

With that said, I had to keep up with the day's routines. As per usual, breakfast, piano, and video games, it was. However, the catch this time was that I actually did my Physics homework instead of play games. It sort of felt good. Being productive that is. Though I guess it didn't make me feel much better. I thought maybe I could talk to someone on Facebook. Maybe, I'll feel comfortable enough to discuss my situation with someone. And so, with a heavy heart, I logged onto Facebook. This time, when I checked, although I still had Faith listed as a friend, she had removed me from her friend list, as well as deleted all my posts on her Wall. It was disheartening, to say the least. There were also more cryptic messages on her Instant Messenger feed. "The more you hold onto me, the more I will hate you." "Get over it." "You'll see why some day." "Your existence is insignificant." Again, no names attached. But, it didn't take a genius to figure out at least some of them, if not all of them, were directed at me. Sigh.

So I looked at my chat bar, and just like before, my attention was seized by someone's name on that list. The name of that person flashed out at me. It was one of my close friends, Yuki Nomura. I haven't spoken to her in a while. I knew her from elementary school. She had always looked after me during Grades 5 and 6, and when everyone else was against me, she supported me, encouraged me. She didn't care if her friends left her because of me. She was only concerned with helping out a fellow classmate who was being mistreated. It feels like she saved me from myself, when I was having suicidal thoughts. I've always looked up to her. _Maybe she'll be able to help me.___I thought that it may be worthwhile to try. So, like a coin attracted to a magnet, my mouse moved over to open up a chat box with her.

**James R.: Hey. How are you?**

**Snow N.: Oh? James? Long time no see. I'm good. It has been a while since we spoke. How have you been?**

Wait. Why was her name on Facebook Snow? Oh wait, right, Yuki is Japanese for Snow. I guess someone must have made a nickname for her.

**James R.: Well, recently, not so great. **

**Snow N.: Oh…What's wrong? =( **

**James R.: Well…I had…problems with one of my friends.**

**Snow N.: Oh dear…Is it like what happened back in elementary? Did one of your friends just suddenly start to bully you or something? **

**James R.: No, it wasn't that. It…was more like she suddenly disappeared. For no reason. And actually, that bullying problem ended after Grade 8, thankfully. **

**Snow N.: Oh, that's good to hear. But what about this friend of yours? Can you tell me what happened?**

I hesitated a bit here. I wasn't sure if I should bother her with such a thing. I mean, from anyone else's perspective, this was just another friendship gone sour. It might not appear to be something worth dealing with to others. But since its Yuki, I think my chances are good.

**James R.: Well, it went something like this…**

Eventually, I told her about what had happened between Faith and me. I didn't mention Faith's name, since I didn't feel that it was appropriate, and I only gave an abridged version of the story regarding Faith's situation with her boyfriend. And, just as I had hoped, Yuki listened to the whole story, without feeling like it was some typical high school relationship problem.

**James R.: And, yea. Since that conversation, we haven't talked again. **

**Snow N.: I'm sorry to hear that. =( **

**Snow N.: This must have been quite the ordeal to go through. **

**James R.: It was pretty rough. I haven't felt this bad since Grade 5. **

**Snow N.: Yea…I have a question though. What was it about her? Why did you go that far for her? **

Here we go again. Question of my life. If I knew, this would be so much easier to deal with. She was just a friend, not my girlfriend. And yet, the loss of Faith had caused me quite a lot of grief and sadness. I don't even know why. I couldn't answer this when Faith asked me, and I still can't answer it now.

**James R.: I don't know. I just…didn't want to see her leave. I can't explain it. **

**Snow N.: Perhaps you think of her as more than just a friend. **

**James R.: I dunno. I don't think that's it. She wasn't my girlfriend or anything like that. And yet I feel so devastated. **

**Snow N.: What a quandary. I don't really understand…Sorry… **

**James R.: Its fine. I just wanted to get it off my chest. That's all. **

**Snow N.: Well, let me think here. Do you think that there was a reason she chose to confide in you? **

**James R.: I can only think of one. I told her about what happened in Grade 5 and 6. **

Everything that transpired after started with that one conversation, where I told Faith about my own experiences.

**Snow N.: So, after that, she decided to open up to you?**

**James R.: Yea. There's one other thing. She's been posting random cryptic messages on her Instant Messenger. Things like, "The more you hold onto me, the more I will hate you." **

**Snow N.: = ( **

**Snow N.: So she's only ever online to post dark, scary messages? And she talks to everyone else like nothing has happened? **

**James R.: Pretty much. **

**Snow N.: Hmm. Since you are not sure about phoning her... and none of her friends have said anything, why don't you give her some time to herself? I can't say I know much about it, but there really is nothing you can do. **

Yea. That's about the only thing I can do. Sit in a corner, and hope for the best. It really (pardon my language) pisses me off when you have to deal with these kinds of things that are completely out of your power.

**James R.: Yea. I think I'll wait until school starts. See what happens. **

**Snow N.: Keep some distance from her until either you or her feel comfortable enough to speak to each other again. And promise me one thing. Don't do anything stupid, okay? **

Will do. I'm never breaking a promise to Yuki.

**James R.: Yea. I got it. Thanks. **

**Snow N.: Sorry, there really isn't much I can do here. This isn't like back then…**

**James R.: Hey, no sweat. I still owe you for that. Don't be sorry. I'm glad that you took the time to talk to me. **

**Snow N.: Thanks. =) **

**Snow N.: I guess I'll catch you later then. I need to go do my homework.**

**James R.: You have summer homework too? **

**Snow N.: Yea. Just another question and I'm done.**

**James R.: …I haven't even gotten a quarter of the way through yet for my homework…**

**Snow N.: Oh! Well, you better work hard! Don't leave things like that until the last second possible. Good luck! =D**

**James R.: Thanks. See you. **

** James R. has left the conversation **

Well. Yuki couldn't do much, seeing as she didn't know Faith, and didn't go to my school anymore. But it felt like a great load had been taken off my back. Maybe, it didn't change the situation, but Yuki's encouraging words served to make things seem a bit better. Well, I guess for now, I'll just go back to doing Physics. I've gotten bored of the video games I have. Maybe I'll ask Sam for a copy of "The Last Dream XIII" or something. But for now, it's back to grunt work.

…


	3. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6: The Outsider**

After my conversation with Yuki, days flew by like seconds. Nothing exciting happened. I waited in silence; waiting for something to break the silence. Waiting, I was now aware, is one of the hardest things to do. I finished my Physics homework, and my ELA homework. I was left with nothing to do except play piano and video games. And even as I engaged in these side activities, Faith had not left my mind for even a moment. No matter how much I tried to immerse myself in the moment, no matter what I tried to do, the anger and sadness of what happened kept pouring back into me like a tidal wave flooding a ship dock. I've never felt so powerless before. Heck, this isn't even my fault to begin with. That's been pointed out to me numerous times. I talked to another one of my friends later, and she said that I should just let it go. Think of it as Faith's loss. As I always say, these kinds of things are much easier said than done. Just like how Faith didn't get over losing her boyfriend easily, I wasn't getting over losing her easily. How could I just let it go and think of it as Faith's loss? I'm the one who's suffering, not her.

In the end, I resorted to go back to playing video games again. I thought I'd play some Team Deathmatch with Sam in Modern Frontiers or something. So, that is what I decide to do. When I entered the game lobby, I immediately joined Sam's game that was in progress. The first thing I heard when I entered the game was Sam's somewhat frantic, somewhat concerned voice. "Dude, you were gone for 10 days. What in the world happened man?"

Well. I guess I'll go back on my word. Even if he can't do anything about Faith and me, maybe it'll be good enough for letting out some steam. "Yea, I didn't tell you the whole story last time. I figured it wasn't a big deal. I'll tell you now."

"…Alright. Shoot man. I'm all ears." Sam sounded uneasy.

I was a bit uneasy as well. But I told him. "I had problems with one of my friends. She…how should I put this…She disappeared. Without reason."

Sam was hanging onto every word I said. I noticed because he was shot from across the map while he wasn't paying attention. "Oh man! Wow, what a…Sorry. So, what do you mean disappeared? We talking literally or figuratively?"

As I gunned down an enemy with my rifle, I took a few moments to word a proper response. "Figuratively. She didn't go on Instant Messenger for 15 days, and she was only ever online to post cryptic messages. It had me sweating bullets at times. I was really worried."

Once again, Sam, due to his inattention to the enemy team, was sniped from somewhere. "Alright, you know what, let's leave the game. Then we'll talk."

Good idea. So, we left the game and rejoined the lobby. Well, I guess he was so focused on my story that he couldn't concentrate on the game.

With that out of the way, Sam attempted to talk again. "So she just started being anti-social? Hold on, who is this friend you're talking about first?"

He didn't know Faith, fortunately for me. So I didn't mind sharing. "No, you don't know her. And no, she wasn't anti-social from that point forth. She just…stopped talking to me. She seemed perfectly fine with everyone else."

"Hmm." Sam was deliberating something, before continuing. "Do you think perhaps it was something you did? Or maybe it was something you didn't do."

Well, if I knew the answer to that, I wouldn't be in such a fix right now, would I? I'm pretty I've mentioned this several times already. I don't have the slightest clue what is wrong. I'm completely in the dark here. If someone knows what's going on, then get the hell over here and explain this to me!

I sighed. "No clue at all. She isn't telling me anything. I'm completely lost."

"Well, if that is the case, how bout you wait until school starts again? Talk to her in person? Hey, hang on, why haven't you tried calling her yet?" Sam, you got some nice suggestions. Pretty sure I've already thought about all of this before. Whatever. At least he's trying to help.

Again, I exhaled before speaking. "I would call her; except I thought that I might escalate the situation, or get a rebuke. I didn't have the courage to do so anyways."

"You really can't do much right now then. So, how bout you forget all of this for a while, and just play some TDM with me? I mean, I can't really help either, and I don't know your friend in person."

I guess so. But I hate being told that there's nothing I can do. Faith and Yuki have already said that, and I certainly don't appreciate the reminder. "Yeah, sorry about that. Let's play some TDM."

And that's exactly what we did for the next hour or so. And during that entire time frame, I was still bothered by what Faith had said to me. I didn't really concentrate that well, so I got my ass handed to me.

…..

Another week had gone by. Now there's only two days left before school resumed. Ugh. I really hated that. Every time summer vacation ends, I'm left with a really sad feeling, like reaching the end of a really good book. This time it was more than just simply having to go back to school. This time, the school year was going to be extra brutal, courtesy of the fact that I was having core subjects for the entire year. Yea, not very nice sounding, is it? It's my turn to haul the one-ton boulder up to the top of a 1000m tall hill. And that was just for starters. I also had Faith to deal with. I don't even know why I still think of her as a friend, after all that's happened. Yet I continue to describe her as a friend to everyone I talk to about her.

Over the course of the past week, there were two progressions. One, I noticed now, that when I logged on Instant Messenger, that all of Faith's status updates, were now gone. As if they never existed. I'm not sure if she went and deleted them one by one, or somehow otherwise blocked me from seeing all of her status updates, but all the things that she had left there were gone. This action, like the others before it, disheartened and saddened me further. It seems she was serious about removing all traces of her existence from my life. Two, a while back (about a month ago), when we still talked like friends, she said that she was going to a cover of a song on the guitar. She said that I would be amazed by it. I also promised that I'd be amazed by it. That song that she was talking about was now posted on her Facebook wall. As promised, I checked it out. I listened to the whole song. Indeed, I was impressed. I have a guitar as well, but I do not have the skill to play it. Instead, I played piano. Faith however, had done an amazing cover, some of it by ear. I gave a smile of melancholy as the video finished. Indeed, I was amazed, but no longer as a friend. Now, I was an outsider.

I considered talking to Akira about the situation. He seemed really close to Faith. Maybe she told him about what happened, and perhaps, she even told him her true motives. But it didn't seem right to bug him. I'll find an opportunity later when school starts. I'll have plenty of time later to figure out what is going on. And so, I waited for the new school year to start. In just two days, I will have to take up the backpack and pencil again. In just two days, I will be given a chance to fix everything. According to someone, problems that cannot be solved do not exist in this world.

…..


	4. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7: Remember…**

School had begun. Well, officially, it's begun, but on the first day of school, we only had to attend an assembly. Thankfully, there were no classes today. What that meant was that I wouldn't have to wake up at 6 in the morning so I can get to school on time. Fortunately for me, the assembly started at 10:00 AM; however, today marked the end of me going to bed at 12:00 AM. With a feeling of bitterness, I ate breakfast as per usual, and was shipped off to that dreaded education complex that felt more like a prison than a school.

Upon arriving at the main gates of the school, I took a moment to go over what I needed to do today. I had to find Akira and talk to him about Faith. Or, if I was lucky enough, I would approach Faith and speak to her. Well, I'd say finding Akira would be the much easier task to accomplish. He was more approachable than Faith. Not to mention, he's the kind of nice guy who would be willing to listen to a classmate's problems. If neither goal could be accomplished, I would simply leave the school, find some friends to hang out with, and then go home. With that in the back of my head, I took a breath, and slowly entered the school. To my surprise, the main foyer was completely devoid of teachers and students. I thought there would be at least a few students hanging around before the assembly started, but it seemed no student was keen on showing up an hour before the assembly like me. If I'd have to guess, it appears that the student body has more common sense than I thought. So, I sat down on a nearby bench and waited in silence. Unfortunately for me, the silence was very suffocating. After about 10 minutes of this asylum-like soundlessness, I decided to pace around the foyer for a bit. Listening to my footsteps felt much better than hearing nothing.

About 20 more minutes, more students began to come. There weren't very many, only about 20 or 30. In those 20 or so people, I noticed a familiar face. I instinctively waved my hand. The student took notice, and waved back. I couldn't help but show a smile. The student happened to be a friend of mine, Adrianna. She was unusually cheerful, like me when I'm having my random hyper mood swings. She reminds me of the sun. The kind you'd see in cartoons with big smiles. Although I suppose she isn't nearly as loud as I am. When I get carried away, I might as well be a boombox.

Adrianna skipped over to me, with that ever-so intense smile on her face. "Hey! It's been a while!" She sounded happy. Oh joy. I sort of waved my arms like octopus tentacles, and tried my best to form a response. "Yo. Good to see you. Nothing wipes off that good natured grin of yours, does it?"

In response, she smile widened. "Nope! Summer was awesome! I finally finished that drawing I showed you last year." Come to think of it, she did show me a drawing at one point. It was someone that looked like Neo from the Matrix. The scary thing was is that that drawing was done on something about 6 times bigger than A4 paper. She actually finished drawing that monster of a picture?

"Well, it certainly is nice to see that you're still alive and kicking." Ugh. I really need to find less cliché responses. I borrow too much stuff from movies and games now.

Adrianna and I engaged in some light conversation about some other things. She was particularly hyped up by some anime series that she was following. She was talking so fast that I only caught the fact that the anime was about a band or something and that someone was making a movie for the anime. Well, it sounds sort of like me when I go off on a tangent about video games. Heck, Duty's Call: Modern Frontiers 3 is all the rage for me right now. It makes up a significant amount of my conversation volume towards others. While Adrianna continued blabbing about some anime, I shifted my attention to the door way too see if either Akira or Faith had entered already. By this time, students were starting to flood in now. It's like what happens when people go to watch football games. Except in this case, people were flooding in for something that they dread. I looked at faces, but I couldn't find either Faith or Akira. I was still searching, when Adrianna notified me that the assembly was starting. Oh joy.

In hindsight, the assembly was dead boring. It was the same as usual. The assembly always took place in the main gymnasium. All the students would sit in nice neat rows like soldiers lined up for deployment into a war zone. The staff would stand opposite to them, giving instructions to students that were just making their way in to the gym. I scanned the crowd ahead of me. I had chosen a place on the risers that gave me a significant elevation boost. I still couldn't see either Faith or Akira. I might as well be finding a needle in a haystack though, because there were more than 1000 students in here right now. Eventually, I relented, and sank back into my seat. The principle began his address, speaking of how we were one year older now, and that the school year would be much more difficult. He mentioned how he expected each of us to treat our peers with respect and care, and the importance of academic honesty and integrity. It was the same old stuff again, but it wasn't a bad reminder of how much of a hell this school year was going to be. I was loaded with core subjects throughout the course of the entire year. On top of it, the situation with Faith only served to increase the look of gloom on my face. Throughout the assembly, there was a lot of side chattering; mostly students who were bored and had looks on their face that clearly asked, "Why are we here?" I was tempted to chat with my neighbours as well, but Adrianna told me to be quiet. I don't get how she can appear to be more hyperactive than me, and yet she able to keep her mouth clamped shut in these kinds of situations. Thus, with no other choice left, I sat through the assembly, thinking about petty things such as lunch and video games, as well as think about what I should do if I found Faith or Akira after the assembly ended. The principle's voice seemed to flow in one ear and out another. I didn't really catch most of what he said.

After the assembly ended, most of the students booked it out of there. Can't blame them. I can't imagine many students actually enjoying an assembly that acted more like a lecture. Adrianna invited to go shopping with her right after the assembly ended. "It will be so much fun! It's been forever since we last hung out!" were her words I believe. I accepted her invite, and told her she should go ahead and leave first. I still had something I needed to take care of. She agreed, and told me that she would be waiting for me in the mall across the street. Oh joy. I looked around, scanning the student body that remained in the school for two people. It didn`t take long. I found Faith sitting on a bench near the main gate. She was reading some hard-cover novel. The relief I felt died in an instant, and fear coiled up inside me like a snake. Finding her was easy enough; approaching her and talking to her was a different story. I slowly walked towards her. She didn`t notice me because she was still reading her novel. I stopped about 8 meters away from her. It now felt like I had one-ton weights strapped to my legs. I was so scared that my legs were practically glued to the floor. What was this feeling of nervousness that I have? Where's the confident me who wasn't at all afraid to speak out loud in front of 30 people? Where's the me that I needed to be right now? As my inner struggled continued, I noticed that Faith had shut her hard cover, and was already beginning to leave. Damn it! If I didn't say something, she was going to leave! But my legs were still glued to the floor, and I could not get my voice to work. Her back turned towards me. Faith stepped outside the school doors and disappeared. I finally got my legs to move again. I raced towards the doors and flung them open. I dashed outside quickly, but Faith was already nowhere to be seen. Damn it all! I stomped on the concrete in frustration. I lost her.

I couldn't find Akira either, so I went to the mall to meet Adrianna. She was still smiling, but she couldn't help but notice the sour look plastered onto my face. Though she asked what happened, I told her it was nothing. In the end, we did some window shopping, before we called it a day and both went home. As I went home, I was left with an overwhelming sense of guilt. Why was I never able to do anything when I needed to take action? The only saving grace I have is that I can try finding Akira and Faith tomorrow. I figured during school time, my chances of bumping into them were pretty good. I got home, got my backpack in order, packed my textbooks, and set the alarm. I went to bed, and shut my eyes tightly, hoping that sleep would come quickly.

…..


	5. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8: There is Only One**

The next day had arrived. Unlike yesterday, now we have classes. Ugh. What a royal pain in the ass. The first "real" day of school is always so annoying. All you get to do is sit there, hear about what you're going to do in the course, how hard it's going to be, expectation, and so on. Yea, I'd rather not hear about how hard the courses are. It's bad enough as is to just think about the workload before we're even told what we're going to do.

So, at 6:15 AM, the sound of my alarm clock stirred me from my sleep. Normally, I would lie in bed for another 15 minutes, and then get dressed, but today, I decided to make an exception. The moment I could move my tired body, I got up and moseyed over clumsily to my closet. I had to decide what I should wear. I wanted to look sharp. After all, today was supposed to be a reunion of sorts. Not a kind that I am looking forward to. I can't say that many people would enjoy walking into a tiger's den. I fumbled around my clothing, and ultimately decided to go with black athletic pants, my black sweat band, a dogtag, and my Duty's Call: Cold Warfare T-shirt. I put on my clothes, walked over to the washroom, and looked in the mirror. Yeah, this seems fitting enough. The dark clothing should throw off attention from anyone glancing around in the hallway until I deliberately grab their attention. Though I guess the massive Duty's Call Logo stamped onto the front of my shirt would be a dead giveaway for Faith. Well, whatever. We'll see how things go. With that said I grabbed my backpack, left my room, and dashed down the stairs. I grabbed a few bites of my breakfast before running out the door to catch my bus. I neglected to brush my teeth though. Oh dear. I guess breath mint will have to compensate for that. And thus began my 45 minute long commute to school.

…

Arriving at school, I had noticed that many students were still loitering in the main foyer. Well, I used to eat lunch here, but eventually my haven for lunch had become the school's primary art room; partially due to Adrianna, and partially because there were times where the group of friends that I usually hanged around disappeared somewhere without a trace.

Scratching my head, I tried to remember where my locker was, as I headed up the closest stairwell. It didn't take too long to find. When I reached the second floor, my locker was only half a hallway and a turn away. As I unlocked my locker, I couldn't help but be reminded of last school year. Back then, Faith's locker had been on the other side of the hallway directly across from my locker. Man, I really miss the old times. I don't know if Faith feels that way, but that's what I memorized; how friendly we used to be. Times change indeed, and for me, it was not a good thing. So, I pretty much sat in front of my locker until classes started. Last year, it was times like this where either Faith was sitting in front of her locker, or I would be sitting in front of my locker. Then we'd talk for a while before classes started. This year however, as I scanned the students in the math hallway, Faith was nowhere to be found.

The first class I had was Physics. It wasn't a class I was particularly looking forward to. This was solely due to some research I had done a couple of days before. I discovered a website where students critiqued teachers from all over the country. Many of the teachers at this school had been on that website. My Physics teacher did not…have the best ratings on that website. The ratings were completely done by students. Out of 15, this teacher scored a 3. I certainly hoped that it was just some students pulling a prank, or else my mark may be jeopardized. The class was exactly as I had predicted. The teacher will spend the entire time reading off the course outline, talking about academic integrity, how hard the course was going to be, etcetera. In my opinion, a dull 70 minutes spent. Some of my classmates had looks on their faces that seemed to agree with my thoughts. As I sat there, listening to the teacher giving a lecture about diploma exams, I started thinking about why I had even bothered signing up for this course in the first place.

…

After enduring the full 70 minute speech from our Physics teacher, I promptly left the room. No reason for me to be there. As I was heading over to my math class, I happened to pass by the girls' washroom. To my surprise and shock, Faith walked out just as I passed the threshold of the washroom's door. I quickly turned my head away and picked up my pace. Now wasn't the right time. Maybe she noticed me, but it was probably just wishful thinking on my part. As I neared the stair case, I couldn't help but kick the staircase door open in frustration. I instantly regretted this move, as I had nearly nailed one of my friends, who happened to be standing on the other side of the door, in the head. I quickly apologized, and headed down the stairs before walking to my Math classroom. Math was pretty much the same as Physics, except this teacher appeared (on first impressions) to be better and that we got homework in addition. Good grief, it's only the first day. Chemistry and English was pretty much the same as Math. All in all, all of the teachers left a really good impression on me, except for the Physics teacher. Well, we'll see how this turns out in the end. What sucks about today was that we didn't get a lunch break since it was Friday and only a half day. By the time English ended, I was pretty famished. I wanted to get something to eat. I swear I'm going to drop dead on my way home if I didn't eat something. But, I had to put that on hold, because I still had a job to do.

Ignoring the protests of my stomach, I searched the school for Akira. I think I'll try finding Faith later. It doesn't feel like I can approach her easily right now. I went down to the first floor, did a complete search of the school there; didn't find him. Man, Akira's hard to find. Well, then again, I suppose anyone is hard to find when you don't arrange a time and location to meet. As ran up a nearby staircase, I remembered that Akira might be still at his locker, but I have no idea where his locker is. So I halted myself, and went back down the stairs. There, I waited patiently. There wasn't a guarantee that Akira would come down this staircase; the school had at least 5 staircases from the first floor to the second floor. But this was probably a good bet. Most of my friends got lockers near the staircase here, so I figured I'd at least have a chance.

Indeed, my intuition wasn't bad. About 5 minutes later, I saw Akira walking down the stairs. I walked towards him. "Hey! Akira!" He saw me, and waved back. I approached him. I need to say this as calmly as possible, although I felt rather panicked. "Listen, I need to talk to you. You got a moment?" The second that sentence had left my mouth I was instantly hit with a massive wave of anxiety and fear. I didn't notice until just now, but Faith had been standing right behind Akira. Judging by the way she was turned towards Akira, they had probably been talking about something. Oops. As expected, my luck was not good today! Both Faith and Akira looked at me. I felt rather uneasy now, mostly because Faith was looking at me. I guess it was mutual. She froze up, and after a half-second, turned her glance away from me. Akira however, didn't seem to notice this. "Yea. What up, James?" Gah. I can't talk to Akira about Faith when she's standing right there! I need to find an excuse. Think fast, think fast! "Um…well…I was wondering if you could come to my Birthday Party." Lame excuse, but it will have to do for now. "Oh. We'll have to see. I might be busy that day. Is it okay if I get back to you on that later?" Akira didn't seem to notice how nervous I was. Either he knew something was wrong and was just pretending nothing seemed off, or he really didn't notice. "Yeah, sure. Sounds good." I considered extending my offer to Faith as well, but by the time that thought had passed through my mind, Akira and Faith had already walked past me. As I watched their backs, I couldn't help but feel jealous. Faith valued Akira so much. Why does she treat me so differently from him? After what she had said back then, I had genuinely hoped that she thought of me as a good friend. Well. Mission compromised, I guess. I'll have to find Akira again some other time. With that thought in my mind, and a feeling of helplessness, I left the school as quickly as I could. I guess I'll call up Adrianna and see if she was up for window shopping again. If I'm lucky, maybe Cassie, one of Adrianna's friends, will join us this time. More the merrier, I suppose. In the end, for me, it's all ashes to ashes anyways.

…


	6. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9: A Way to Dawn**

I waited until the next day. As usual, I dragged myself to school.

While I was in class, I completely ignored whatever was said by my teachers at school; I had only one thing in mind, and that was to find Akira as soon as possible. I impatiently sat through all my classes, only jotting down a few points said by the teachers that seemed important.

The second school finished, I searched around the school for Akira. It was like a replay of what happened before; frantic running around the school's second floor; like looking for a rice grain in a pantry. Eventually, I got fed up with the endless running, and resorted to using my cell phone to draw Akira to a location that I could easily find. I was pretty worn out by just traversing the school, and I certainly was not going to entertain any notion of me wanting to continue this game of hide and seek until I knew for sure where Akira was. I called his cell phone. To my dismay however, he did not answer. "Useless wanker!" I cursed in frustration. I felt like a rookie German soldier who was just given an order by the Fuher himself to find a weapon powerful enough to stop the Allies near the end of the Second World War. I had no idea where I should look.

I decided that I would let luck decide this one. I lied in wait on the second floor. Classes had only ended a few minutes ago, so I might be able to catch him walking to his locker. Of course, I had no idea if this would work or not, but I didn't have the stamina to continue the fool's marathon. Fortunately for me, my guess was right. No more than 10 seconds had passed, and I saw Akira heading down the hallway towards me. I walked up to him. I was unsure of how to greet him. I decided to remain silent until he said something. It didn't take long. "Hey, James, yes, I know you were calling me, but I don't like answering my phone. Sorry about that." He certainly perked up in an instant.

It was a few moments before words started coming to my mouth. "Yea, that was me. Listen, we need to talk." I warily looked behind Akira to make sure that Faith was not with him this time. She was nowhere to be seen.

Akira, once again, did not notice my subtle movements. "Sure. What's the matter?" Once again, he replied in such a cheerful voice. I wonder how much money I would make if I recommended him to an advertising company for voice overs.

I set aside that though, as there were more pressing matters to consider. "You remember last school day, when I talked to you? I was meaning to ask you something there and then, but I couldn't'."

Akira took a moment to recall that. "Yeah, it was about your birthday wasn't it? Sorry, I can't go. I have plans that day."

Don't change the topic so quickly. "No, it isn't that. Actually, what I wanted to talk to you about was Faith. Do you mind if we walk for a bit?"

Upon hearing that, Akira's eyes widened slightly. It was enough for me to know that I finally had his attention. "Sure. Let's leave the school first."

The two of us promptly left the school, and walked on a random side walk. I had no clue where that lead, but it seemed long enough to suffice for our talk.

I decided that it was best if I filled him in on what had happened. "You remember during summer, when I had you phone Faith to check up on her?"

Akira nodded. "Yeah, I remember. What was that about anyways?"

I drew a deep breath from the air. I suddenly felt that sinking feeling in my gut again. It's always like this when I talk about such matters with others. "I asked that favour of you because of what happened. It went something like this: Faith and I talked a lot during summer. Daily conversations if you will. We were getting to know each other better. All of a sudden, one day, she stopped appearing on Instant Messenger and Facebook. I didn't have any contact with her for at 15 days. I was really worried."

I nervously lifted my head. Akira had a pretty calm expression on his face, which surprised me. "Well, what happened after that? Did she ever come back?" He inquired.

The memory of what happened after brought fresh tears to my eyes. I looked away so that Akira wouldn't notice. It's pathetic. Someone like me crying over something like this. And wouldn't that thought seem logical to you? "When she did contact me again, it was to tell me that she was leaving me as a friend. I was shocked. And saddened. During all of that, the entire 15 day period and after, she kept leaving random cryptic messages on her Instant Messenger. She didn't attach a name to any of them, but I couldn't think of anyone else those that were intended for asides me."

Akira seemed to be taking his time to ponder the situation as I presented it to him. After a few seconds, he came to a conclusion and asked another question. "Is that all?"

I remained silent for a moment. I tried to think of anything else that happened. Nothing came to mind. "No, that was it. Just like that, for no apparent reason, she friend-dumped me. The thing was, after all the things she said about me, it hit me like a punch in the stomach."

"I see." Was Akira's patronizing response. Or maybe the patronizing tone was just my imagination.

We walked forward in silence for a while. The only things that suggested that we weren't in another world were the sound of cars on the road and the wind. Akira started to talk again. "The truth is, Faith told me a bit about what happened. From what you've just told me, it seems that she gave me a really abridged version."

I raised my head and gave Akira an incredulous look. "Really? You never told me anything like that."

Akira wore a thin smile. "I didn't want to cause you grief. It sounded as though you weren't handling it very well at all, and I didn't want to make you feel worse. However, since things have gotten to this point, would you like to hear what I know?"

I've never seen Akira look so enigmatic before. It's like he's a completely different person. "Alright, shoot. I'm all ears from here on out." I was curious though. What did Faith tell him?

This time it was Akira's turn to look hesitant. However, he spoke. "She told me that you talked with her a lot. She didn't reveal her feelings regarding you to me, but she did mention something about how you seemed to be very attached to her, and how you seemed to be, how shall we say, stalking her."

Now that is a low blow. I'm not a stalker. I won't deny that I'm attached to Faith; otherwise I wouldn't have been so worried or cared about her so much. Again, I could feel tears starting to well up in my eyes. Is this how Faith really thought of me?

" So, what is this about me being a stalker again?"

Akira continued with his explanation. "According to Faith, she told you that she worked out at the YMCA. She also said that you expressed interest in joining her sometime. I believed this caused her to think that you were following her. Am I correct, or is there something missing?"

My mind was a jumbled mess. This didn't add up. I raised a hand to stop him. "That's a bit off. I only said that it might be fun to join her sometime (Yea, I didn't mention this conversation earlier, did I?). I didn't get a YMCA membership until well past that conversation. In fact, I only got it 4 days ago. And it was on my mother's insistence."

Akira seemed to be taken aback by this contrast in our versions of the story. When he recovered from that, he somehow regained his cheerful smile again. "Well. In that case, that makes the situation much easier. It was most likely a misunderstanding between the two of you. I'll talk to Faith later."

I stared at him for a second. "Is it really that easy?" It sounded rather unbelievable.

Akira affirmed it with a nod. "I'll explain it to her. She'll understand. You'll see. Besides, I really want to see your friendship continue. It would be rather disappointing to see it end over something like this."

I couldn't help but grin a bit. Nice try Akira. I know you're not lying to me, but I know that this thing between Faith and me isn't just simply her thinking that I'm a stalker. There's something a bit more than just that. Most likely, it is not a simple as you think. Although, I appreciate the sympathy.

"Well, Akira, you have my thanks for that." I could only offer a bit of gratitude like this. At least he's helping. More so than the other people I've approached about this. Well, I guess Yuki was a big help too. Even if she can't physically intervene, she cheers me up in times like this.

Akira shook his head. "Don't thank me just yet. I haven't changed anything yet, have I? There is one more thing I wanted to ask you though."

"Yea? Go ahead." This conversation was mostly me asking questions again, so I suppose it was only fair.

"Why do you care so much about Faith?" Akira answered with a hint of genuine curiosity attached.

Ugh. This again. I can't remember how many times I've been asked that. I'm not even going to bother trying to count. I could only let out a sigh of exasperation. "I don't know. If I knew, then I wouldn't be in this situation right now, would I?"

Akira let out a laugh. "I suppose that's true." He turned to face me. "Well, I have to get going now. I hope I can talk to you like this again sometime."

With the bus stop in my sight, I see no reason to dissent. "Likewise. I'll see you tomorrow then."

Akira nodded before turning around and walking away. I did the same. I walked to the bus stop, and awaited my ride home.

….

Upon my return home, my parents immediately inquired into why I was 20 minutes late. After convincing them the bus was late, I retreated to the confines of my room, bring with me what I needed to finish today's homework. The first thing I did was open my laptop. I wanted to talk to Yuki again. To my relief, it just so happened she was on Facebook at this moment.

**James R.: Hey, Yuki, are you there? **

No response for a minute or two. Then suddenly…

**Snow N.: Heya! I'm here. What's up? **

**James R.: I wanted to talk to you. With regards to my friend. **

**Snow N.: Okay. Sure. Did something new come up? **

**James R.: Yea. I talked to one of her close friends today. It was something of a breaking development. **

**Snow N.: Did you get to talk to your friend in person though? **

No. I didn't have the guts to. Every time I see her now, I either freeze up or I'm tempted to jump.

**James R.: No…I feel scared approaching her now. **

**Snow N.: I see. =( What did this friend of hers tell you? **

**James R.: Apparently, my friend decided to avoid me because she thinks I was stalking her. I doubt it's as simple as that, but that's what he heard from my friend anyways. **

**Snow N.: Hmm. That's interesting. So you think there's more to it than just meets the eye?**

Ah…Yuki. It's almost like you can read my mind or something. That is exactly how I feel.

**James R.: Indeed. I don't think she'd avoid me for something as petty as that. However, the person I talked to did say that he was going to talk to my friend about it. He said he'd explain to her.**

**Snow N.: Hmm. Well, why don't you wait and see what happens? **

**James R.: Yea, I suppose I'll have to wait and see. **

If this works, then you will be my hero, Akira.

**Snow N.: Again, James, remember, please don't do anything stupid. Okay? **

**James R.: Right right, I won't. **

**Snow N.: Glad to hear it! I have to go to work now, so catch you later!**

**James R.: Right then. See you. **

**Snow N. has signed out. **

Well. Let us see how useful diplomacy proves to be. Faith might not listen to me, but she'll definitely hear Akira out. We'll see how this rolls out in the end.

….

The next day, when I went to school, I was in eager anticipation. Anticipation for what, you might ask? I was waiting to see how things turned out. This time, my head was a lot clearer, so I was able to concentrate more on the lectures handed out by the teachers today. Boring stuff as usual, but I think it's a small price to pay for what will come soon.

During the lunch hour, I ate my lunch as quickly as possible. From what I knew last year, Faith never stayed in one place during lunch unless she was studying. And seeing as it's only the 3rd official day of school, I doubt she has much studying to do. I decided to walk around the school, in hopes that I could find her. My aimless trek eventually led me to the school library. I loitered in the library for about 3 minutes before deciding to make my exit. On the way out however, through the glass doors, I saw what I had been waiting to see.

Faith, by an amazing stroke of luck, was just passing by the entrance to the library. As if to balance my excitement, I was also hit by a dizzying spell of nervousness. Faith froze after just making it past the threshold of the door, and promptly back pedalled. I walked outside of the library, eager to see what was going to happen. Faith approached me. She greeted me with a casual "Hi" the same way she used to. Oh, the nostalgia. It feels like it's been forever. "Yo!" I responded, raising a peace sign with my hand. "What's up?"

Oddly enough, I noticed that Faith was looking straight at my face. I couldn't help but do the same in return. I was expecting her gaze to be focused on my neck or my fingernails.

"I wanted to talk to you about something." To my joy, her voice wasn't harsh sounding or angry. This was the same Faith that I had always chatted with back then.

I smiled in response. "Sure. What is it?"

However, my moment of joy was promptly stomped on. "Heya! James!" A voice called from behind me.

Oh my goodness. Of all the people that could have interrupted, it was her. Adrianna was calling me. Oh joy. So much for my conversation with Faith. Faith noticed the uninvited guest that had now joined us, and shrugged. "Well, I guess I'll find a better time."

Fine by me. Any time will do. As long as I get to talk with you like before, I don't care. "Sure. Is there a time you'd like to meet? Perhaps after school today?"

Faith shook her head. "Sorry, but I can't stay after school."

It was my turn to give an indifferent expression. "No problem. We'll see."

Faith concurred. "Alright. Later then." She turned around and walked away.

For me, this was the happiest I've felt since what happened. I expected her to address me in a more condescending manner, but this was so much better than what I expected. It's almost as if we were friends again. Just casually talking. It was a joyous feeling. With that thought over, I turned to Adrianna. "You know, you chose a really crappy time to interrupt."

Adrianna promptly bowed. "Sorry! I didn't mean to. I didn't know...Wait." She stood back up again. "Who was that? Was she your girlfriend?"

I rolled my eyes. If only, if only. The likes of me would probably never get a girl like her. "No. She's a friend. I wanted to talk to her about something important."

Adrianna apologized again. "I'm so sorry. I'll make up for it, okay?"

I smiled and shook my head. "No need to. Don't worry about it." I was in a pretty good mood. It marvels me how just a few words from Faith had completely made my day.

And so, Adrianna and I talked about anime and games for a bit, before the bell signaled the end of our lunch break. I was in pretty high spirits after lunch. I eagerly copied down notes, answered questions, and participated in discussion. It's like being reborn, you know? I suddenly feel rejuvenated. Alright, maybe it's a bit too early to say that. I was happy now, but God Knows how I'll feel after the conversation with Faith actually occurs. I somehow get the feeling that it isn't going to be very pleasant, if our previous conversations have taught me anything. It's completely unpredictable, but after all that stuff she said to me in the form of those cryptic messages, I can sort of guess at how this conversation is going to turn out. Well, again, we'll have to wait and see. I suppose in the meantime, I should probably tell Yuki about the good news. And thus, the day ended.

…...


	7. Chapter 10

**Final Chapter: New Light**

After yesterday, I wasn't going to waste any time. A chance to talk with Faith? I'll take it. It's what I've wanted ever since the summer. It might be the last time I ever get to talk to her, judging things by the way they are right now. I knew in my gut that our conversation was probably not going to be the most pleasant. But I was hoping it would give me closure.

So I thought as I waited patiently in the hallway outside the school library. It was already the next school day. Whoever said "time flies when you have fun", I'm inclined to agree. I might not be having fun, but when something similar happens, there is no doubt that time comes and goes like the wind. Just over 8 months ago, Faith and I were friends. 8 months. It seemed so long when you think about it. And yet, it feels like all that time had passed within a span of a day; sort of sad in a way.

I checked my watch. There was still about half an hour before class started. I still had no idea where Faith's locker was, but I intended to find out. Thus, I waited for her to show up, so I could figure out where her locker was. I recalled, with a twinge of pride, that Faith had always shown up about 20 minutes before classes started. At the very least, I can credit myself with good observation skills.

Just as predicted, after about 10 minutes, I noticed a small figure walking past. I had been leaning against the wall, so anyone who walked past me would not have noticed me unless they turned around. Taking a chance, I tailed the figure. Now don't get me wrong, there are about a hundred girls in this school who look like Faith from behind, but my instincts told me that this was most likely her. The girl I was following continued walking forward until we reached the end of the hallway, and turned to a locker on her left. I walked past her, and placed myself about four meters away from her. She still didn't notice me. I simply watched. I was trying to get a better look at her face, to make sure that it was Faith. In the way we were positioned, if I was able to see her face, she would be able to see mine as well. The girl was unpacking her backpack and putting textbooks into her locker. As she reached down to take hold of another textbook, her eyes met mine. A smile made its way to my face.

I was right. It was her. It was Faith.

Faith's right hand was frozen, and she had a strange look on her face, like someone who just saw her long dead brother on the street. She stood up straight and turned to face me. "Good morning." She said in a voice that was barely audible.

"Yo." I replied. I walked up to her. "Sorry, is this a bad time?"

She shook her head. "No, not at all." She returned to organizing her textbooks and binders.

I leaned against the locker next to hers, and let out a sigh. "So, what was it you wanted to talk about?"

Faith put one more binder into her locker, before turning back to me. "I wanted to say…That I'm sorry. For all the things that I said to you." Did she just lower her head?

I gave her a hard stare. Her gaze appeared to be fixed on my fingernails. It's like she doesn't want to look me in the face anymore. I glared at the locker directly opposite of me. Well, sorry at this point doesn't really seem to cut it. Then again, it was better than nothing.

I huffed and turned to face her again. "You know, your words cut deeper than any sword. This may not be for me to say, but I think you should be mindful of what you say to your friends. After what you said to me…I haven't felt so bad since grade 5. And to tell you truth, I'd rather not be reminded of that."

Faith didn't look up at me. She still had her head lowered, so I couldn't tell if my words had hit their mark. After about a quarter note rest had passed, Faith spoke up again. "I'm sorry..."

I continued to look at her. I couldn't help but feel really guilty. Perhaps I was too harsh there. Faith was my friend. I probably should have been less confrontational.

I drew a deep breath before continuing. "Well, I was honestly worried. I'm just glad that you don't hate me."

This was when something peculiar happened. Upon hearing that I said, Faith raised her head looked straight into my eyes. It was almost like a glare. It was enough to leave me with an uneasy feeling.

"I don't hate anyone." She said in a very serious tone. Oops. There's another one of those "Shouldn't have done that" feelings.

Faith abruptly turned around and continued getting her school things ready. I tried to take a gentle tone. "Well, I'm relieved to hear that. We don't need to be friends, if you don't feel comfortable with that. If you would just, say "hi" when we see each other, it would be enough for me."

"I probably won't say hi. Most likely, I'll just wave and be done with it." Was her reply. Seems like I'm still being shut out.

Faith got her school things ready, and turned back to face me. "I've been backstabbed, betrayed, and lied to too many times. That's why I've decided to keep my guard up from now on."

I felt so disheartened after hearing that. That's why you didn't want to be friends? I've only ever cared about you, Faith! What makes you think I would betray you? After all the things I've told you, after all the things you've said to me, what made you think that?

…Of course, I couldn't say any of the above. I already knew that any attempt at convincing her was a cry on deaf ears. I wasn't going to try at this very moment. "A wise decision, I suppose." Was the pitiful response that I was forced to give.

A moment of silence surrounded Faith and me. There wasn't anything else left to say. As far as she's concerned, we were different sides of the same coin. So, I decided to take my leave for the last time.

"Well, I have to get going. Good luck with school." I said as I got ready to walk away.

Faith stood still for a moment…before looking up at me with a smile; a smile as faint as twilight, but definitely a smile. "You too James."

It was dazzling. I was left with a funny feeling in my chest, as I waved good-bye and walked away.

….

**Epilogue:** **A Silent World**

It's been a while since Faith and I last spoke. Maybe a month since? I don't know. I haven't been counting the days. I rarely see her nowadays. We pass each other in the hallways every now and then, but that's it. And most of the time, I've been too scared to say "hi" to her. It's like whenever I see her now, I'm hit with this massive wave of fear and nervousness, for reason that I can't even begin to comprehend.

I continued with my studies as was expected of me. But no matter how I tried to move on, Faith just never really seems to leave my mind. It was strange really. At this point, she had probably forgotten all about me, and she's also probably stopped caring about me as well. The question is why do I still feel so sad? If she doesn't care, why do I? All my friends have been telling me that I'm too obsessed with her, that I'm talking about her all the time, how I always look at her Facebook Wall and Instant Messenger, and so forth. Well, who knows? I'm just desperately trying to make sure that not all the ties between us are cut. It's sort of like Naruto and Sasuke. This might be crazy, but I took a picture of her off of Facebook and kept it on my computer. It's just to remind me 20 years from now, how much this girl named Faith meant to me.

You know, as a matter of fact, when I first entered my ELA class in high school, asides all the acquaintances and friends I knew from before, Faith was the first person I noticed. She jumped out at me, like a beautiful flower blooming on a battlefield. It was only then when I wanted to become friends with her, get to know her better. I guess I was successful to one end, and unsuccessful to the other. Despite how things seem now, I'm still holding onto the hope that we may be able to get together again, some day in the future; maybe in another life, if this lifetime isn't long enough. But I want to be able to walk beside her again, laughing and smiling the way we used to. Faith is my friend. And that statement will stay with me as long as humanly possible.

_**Fin.**_

"In a silent world, I fluttered down. I was snow."


	8. Chapter 10 Alternate 1

**Final Chapter: Ultimanium**

After yesterday, I wasn't going to waste any time. A chance to talk with Faith? I'll take it. It's what I've wanted ever since the summer. It might be the last time I ever get to talk to her, judging things by the way they are right now. I knew in my gut that our conversation was probably not going to be the most pleasant. But I was hoping it would give me closure.

So I thought as I waited patiently in the hallway outside the school library. It was already the next school day. Whoever said "time flies when you have fun", I'm inclined to agree. I might not be having fun, but when something similar happens, there is no doubt that time comes and goes like the wind. Just over 8 months ago, Faith and I were friends. 8 months. It seemed so long when you think about it. And yet, it feels like all that time had passed within a span of a day; sort of sad in a way.

I checked my watch. There was still about half an hour before class started. I still had no idea where Faith's locker was, but I intended to find out. Thus, I waited for her to show up, so I could figure out where her locker was. I recalled, with a twinge of pride, that Faith had always shown up about 20 minutes before classes started. At the very least, I can credit myself with good observation skills.

Just as predicted, after about 10 minutes, I noticed a small figure walking past. I had been leaning against the wall, so anyone who walked past me would not have noticed me unless they turned around. Taking a chance, I tailed the figure. Now don't get me wrong, there are about a hundred girls in this school who look like Faith from behind, but my instincts told me that this was most likely her. The girl I was following continued walking forward until we reached the end of the hallway, and turned to a locker on her left. I walked past her, and placed myself about four meters away from her. She still didn't notice me. I simply watched. I was trying to get a better look at her face, to make sure that it was Faith. In the way we were positioned, if I was able to see her face, she would be able to see mine as well. The girl was unpacking her backpack and putting textbooks into her locker. As she reached down to take hold of another textbook, her eyes met mine. A smile made its way to my face.

I was right. It was her. It was Faith.

Faith's right hand was frozen, and she had a strange look on her face, like someone who just saw her long dead brother on the street. She stood up straight and turned to face me. "Good morning." She said in a voice that was barely audible.

"Yo." I replied. I walked up to her. "Sorry, is this a bad time?"

She shook her head. "No, not at all." She returned to organizing her textbooks and binders.

I leaned against the locker next to hers, and let out a sigh. "So, what was it you wanted to talk about?"

Faith put one more binder into her locker, before turning back to me. "I wanted to tell you that I want you to stay away from me."

Faith hadn't taken a particularly harsh tone, but those words stung quite a bit. "Faith, what's what matter? What did I do to warrant this?" I could practically feel the anger that was starting to fill me from head to toe. Despite this, I tried my best to keep a smile on my face.

Faith continued rummaging through her things, and didn't look up. "I told you before. Stop wasting your time on me. I don't need you to constantly follow me."

At this point, the smile that I had on my face was now gone, and instead, a grimace took its place. "Now look here, I've been really worried about you throughout the summer. Can't you at least give me a straight answer as to why you're doing this? You say all these…hurtful things to me; you don't talk to me for over two weeks. I'd like very much like an explanation that I can understand."

Faith turned to face me. She gave me a hard, piercing glare. "I **hate** it when people cling onto me like that. I've told you before nicely, but you don't ever listen! So I'm telling you now. GET LOST!" She was practically yelling at me.

I hit my boiling point at that instant too. "Can't you see I'm trying to show that I care about you?" I retorted. "You mattered to me, Faith! That's why I did all the things I did! You're my friend!" I was starting to see red now. Damn, I didn't expect this to happen.

Suddenly, I was socked in the face. By Faith. By Faith's fist. My words had obviously provoked Faith to the point where she snapped. Her face became filled with rage as she delivered a punch right into my nose. I staggered backward, reeling from the impact. "That hurt, damn it!" I was about to glare at her and register a complaint, when I noticed that Faith was crying. She had her head lowered, and was sobbing, her hands clenched into fists.

She raised her head, and looked at me with tears in her eyes. "Just leave me alone!" She said while sobbing. She quickly grabbed her belongings, closed her locker, and ran off into the mass of students in the hallway.

"…" I was left stunned and wordless as I watched Faith run away.

A cold gust of wind blew through my mind. It's over now. In more than one way.

….

**Epilogue: There'll be Another Time…**

Directly as a result of my altercation with Faith, I was unable to concentrate on my classes throughout the entire day. I was on the verge of tears, but I didn't let anyone see tears. That's not who my classmates see me as. To them, I wasn't some weak person who'd cry over something like this. But in all honesty, I'm more emotionally fragile than I seem. I sat through my classes, catching bits and pieces of what the instructors were saying. I couldn't wait to get out of school.

As soon as school ended, I left for downtown. I waved goodbye to my friends for the last time, and set off on a journey from which I'd never return. I took the public transit to the core of the city. At this point, I looked for the highest building that the public could access. I crossed a few streets and avenues, and eventually found a building about three stories high. I took the elevator once I was inside, and made it to the top. I exited the elevator, and went out onto the rooftop. At the very top of the building was a playground. Fortunately for me, there were no kids around. I surveyed my surroundings, and contemplated what my last few actions should be…If it wasn't evident before, my intention was to drown my sorrow by ending the world around me. That's right. I was going to leap off the top of this building. And when I land, all the pain, all the conflict, and all the sadness, will be washed away. _Ironic. Sadness is the price to see this all end._ I thought to myself.

I reached into my right pocket and took out my cell phone. I flipped through my contacts, looking for one person in particular. I dialed a number, and waited silently for a response. It would appear luck was on my side this time, as the call was answered.

"Hello?" A voice said.

"Hey. It's me." I said through the receiver.

"James? What's the matter?" The voice asked.

I took a deep breath. "Akira, I need you do to me a favour."

"Okay. What's up?" Akira answered hesitantly.

"I need you to tell Faith that I'm sorry for what I did. Tell her that I'll make everything right once and for all. Can you do that? It's the last favour I'll ever ask of you."

"Wait! Where are you? What are you going to do?" Akira shouted frantically through the phone. "Did something happen? Tell me what's wrong!"

Damn. He was suspicious already. I had best make this quick. "Just please do this favour for me. That's all I ask." And after uttering the last word, I threw my phone over the edge of the building. I watched as the phone smashed into bits on the ground.

I slowly walked over to the edge of the building. "I'm sorry, everyone…I guess I just wasn't good enough in the end." With that as my last words, I leapt forward.

As I fell, I felt surprisingly calm, even at the thought of my impending demise. It seemed as though the world was melting away around me. I could no longer distinguish between what was what. Everything was a blur of odd looking shapes, and strange looking colours. I felt like a leaf, being swept away by the autumn wind. I lost all sense of time and space. I don't know how long I fell for. I suppose it doesn't matter either. As I lost consciousness, the images of Akira talking to me, Faith smiling at me, and the playground on the building flashed before me in a jumbled mess. And then, finally, I blacked out.

…

Akira watched the television intently, trying to figure out what happened. He was at home, sitting on his bed, staring at the television placed before him.

About a half hour before, James had given him that strange call. It sounded like James was going to commit suicide. Akira had been scared out of his wits by James' last words, and had tried his best to size up what happened. Akira had called Faith right after his call with James ended, trying to figure out what happened. Faith had told Akira that she had punched James in frustration, but that was all she would say. Faith was very tight lipped about what had occurred between her and James.

As the breaking news segment began, Akira anxiously awaited news of James's fate. "In the afternoon at about 4:26 PM, a 16 year-old high school student committed suicide by jumping off a building near the municipal center. Police have sealed off the area, and are currently investigating the incident."

Akira covered his eyes with his hands and fell back against his bed. He sighed in disappointment.

"I'm so sorry James. It looks like I couldn't help in the end…" Akira whispered sullenly. Akira remained lying on his bed, and did not move. "I'll carry out that last favour for you though. You have my word on that." After a taking a few minutes to recuperate from the news, Akira turned off the television, and went to take a shower.

Yuki had also heard about James' suicide from the news. When she heard the name of the person who had died, Yuki broke down in tears. She slammed her fist on a nearby coffee table in exasperation and sadness. "Damn you James. You promised you wouldn't do anything stupid…" She said while sobbing. She looked up at the television, tears streaming down her face. "Why would he do this? If he had problems with his friend, he should have at least talked to me about it…"

Yuki covered her face. As more details on James' death was revealed, Yuki silent made a promise to herself: "I will always remember James as the kind and caring boy who would always try to smile, no matter what others said to him." After a few moments of suffocating silence, she turned off the television and went to her room. She had homework to do, but Yuki didn't feel in the mood for homework after hearing about James. Instead, Yuki decided to lie on her bed and rest for a while. Eventually, she was finally able to fall asleep.

….

By the next day, news of James' suicide had reached all ears within his school. It came as a very big shock, especially to those who knew him personally. They never suspected it. The carefree and cheerful guy who everyone loved, gone just like that. James' closer friends knew about what happened. Though they never said anything out loud, they blamed Faith for what happened. To them, she had driven their friend to his death.

Akira noted that Faith appeared to be unmoved by James' death, and even went as far as ridiculing him, calling him a fool for doing such as thing. However, after Akira talked to Faith after, Faith told him (while shedding a few tears) that she never meant to hurt James like that. "I was upset about him always being clingy. I never meant for this to happen…"

Akira nodded solemnly. "He wanted me to tell you, that he's sorry for everything."

Faith shook her head. "No…this was my fault. I shouldn't have been so confrontational with him."

Both Akira and Faith had no choice but to continue with their lives as if nothing had happened. School life would return to being a bit more normal, but no one could ignore the lack of James' presence; everyone could feel the lack of the usual light-hearted atmosphere that was only present when James was there.

_**Fin.**_

"If you want me to live, then I want to live. If you want me to die, then I want to die."


	9. Bonus Chapter

**Bonus Chapter: Dreams over Reality**

It has been about two months since that conversation I had with Faith. Over those two months, a lot of things had happened. For example, Faith spoke to me again for a while, as though we were friends again, only to leave me once again, and this time completely blocking me on Facebook. On top of that, she now actively avoids me, and has even changed the routes she taking to get to her classes; so much for optimism there. Then there was Akira. Akira gave me a scathing lecture about how I was the one who made things worse for Faith. He also told me to leave her alone, and that he would not allow me to continue to hurt her. Naturally, I had no idea what he was talking about, but since he wasn't leaving me with much choice. Feeling hurt and with a heavy heart, I agreed to leave things to him. Unlike with the first time when Faith left me, I didn't feel sad for long this time. Before long, my sadness became anger, and then hate. Not towards Faith, but towards Akira and Faith's ex-boyfriend. I wasn't initially angry at Akira, but since he didn't tell me the truth right from the off, I was rather ticked off when he lit a fire under my rear. I was angry at Faith's ex, because I felt like he was responsible for everything, like Faith being wary of others and pushing away her friends.

Setting that aside, my whole life has seemed to taken a turn for the worst. My academics skills have degraded and my marks have faltered. It's as though after Faith dealt that emotional blow to me, everything was started to fall into pieces.

Today was another off day. Right after an exam, I instinctively knew that I had done poorly. There were several questions that I had failed to answer. I sighed as I walked to my locker. The exam had been the last thing I did before I went home. And now after being such a failure, I felt like stabbing myself in the foot. As I walked to the locker, the whole "Faith walking towards me" scenario played again. This time however, she avoided looking at me, and dashed past me as fast as she could. Though she would not look at me, I could not help but turn my head back and look at her. Just like before, the way she walked away was peculiar. It was as though her back was yelling "Don't follow me!" just like before. I felt like I was living in a tragic romance anime. It was very depressing for me. So I walked to my locker, retrieved my Calculus textbook, and went home. I didn't feel like doing homework today, so I wasted time surfing the internet after dinner before I went to bed.

The next day though, something strange happened. It was quite the spectacle.

When I woke up the next day, and got my belongings ready, I could not find my Calculus textbook or my backpack. Instead, I found my old Math 11 textbook, and my Swiss Gear Backpack from the previous year. Even stranger, the backpack was in pristine condition. I know for sure that I ripped a few holes in that backpack by stuffing too many textbooks into it. Either someone had done a really good patch job or it, or something out of this world happened to it. Also for some reason, I could not find my new smartphone, but instead found my old silver flip phone. Well, seeing as I there wasn't much I could do, I packed my binder and my Math 11 textbook into my old backpack, and set off for school. Upon arriving at school, I went to my locker to see if my Calculus textbook was in there. Much to my shock however, my locker did not open. I was sure I was using the right locker combination for it. "Hey." A voice said behind me. "I think that's my locker." It was a grade 12 student. He was pretty dang tall. I was rather intimidated, so I backed away and let him try to open my locker. He tried his combination once, and the lock popped clean off. I was mesmerized. "So if my locker became his locker, then…"

I suddenly had the urge to dash back to my old locker on the other side of the school. Surprisingly, I still recalled the combination for it. "15, 39, 5…" I muttered as I tried to open the lock. It opened. I stared at the open lock for a few moments.

Let's take some time to consider the following questions.

1. When did I have my Math 11 textbook?

A: Grade 10

2. When did I have my old locker?

A: Grade 10

3. When did I have my flip phone?

A: Grade 10

As I stood spaced, out, a familiar voice called out to me. "Hey James! How are you today?" I whipped around, completely bewildered. Faith was standing there with a smile on her face.

"…" I was completely at a loss for words for once. Faith had been avoiding me as though I were a disease just yesterday. Now she's acting like I'm her friend again.

I hadn't bothered checking the date since I was in such a hurry to get to my school, so I had no way of knowing. But everything seemed to indicate that I had gone back in time somehow. What they hey? I thought that sort of thing was only possible in Sci-Fi.

This would be back when Faith's locker was across from mine. Back when we were still friends. Back when I could speak to her without feeling nervous. I stared at her for a moment before taking out my phone to check the date. March 16, 2011. This would explain why it still felt so cold. I was in November last I checked, but since it had hardly snowed, I didn't see the difference.

Faith eyed me curiously. "What's the matter James? You look like you've just seen a ghost or something."

I was still nervous talking to her. Every single conversation I had with her after the summer felt like a surgical operation; a delicate and very risky procedure. I tried my best to formulate a response. "Well, seeing a ghost wouldn't have been so surprising. I saw something far more ridiculous."

"Huh…?" Faith seemed to be confused by my remark.

I quickly changed the topic. "Never mind. I'm alright. How are you?"

"I'm good." She said, with that gorgeous smile on her face. "By the way, do you remember that entire cell thing that I was studying for in biology?"

I could hear the gears starting to turn inside my head. Yea…That time I sat down beside Faith when she was studying science near her locker. I had tried to teach her analogies for various parts of a cell. Oh, the nostalgia. I could cry right now.

"Yes." I said.

"Well, one of the questions asked: if a cell was analogically compared to a city, what role would the nucleus have?" She continued. "Well, the one of the answers was City Hall, just like what you had told me."

I couldn't help but smile. Reliving this was so surreal. "Haha, well isn't that a strange coincidence?"

Faith giggled softly. "Yes, indeed it was a surprise. Well, I need to get going. I'll talk to you later, okay?"

I nodded. "Sure. See you."

As Faith walked away, I tried to gather my thoughts. Since I've been sent back in time, this would be the perfect opportunity to try and fix my predicament. If I can convince Faith in this time-space, then I should be able to change the future. And then…then maybe we could be friends again. It's a golden opportunity. I'll convince Akira to my cause as well. Since this is March, this would be about a month after Faith broke up with her boyfriend. So Akira and Faith would have just become friends, if I'm not mistaken.

With that thought behind me, I promptly dashed down to the school library, and found an open computer. I logged onto the computer, and inserted my flash drive into it. There was something I needed to check. As I anxiously waited for the computer to load, I also quickly checked my timetable. It would appear that today, being a Wednesday, I had Social Studies first. And since Akira was in my class in Social Studies, finding him won't be a chore. Since Faith is usually outside her locker during lunch, it'll be unlikely to lose track of her. When the computer loaded, I checked the files that were on my flash drive. There was one thing I was looking for in particular. While I scanned through the files there, I noticed that many files, such as my Physics labs (Physics was a course I was supposed to have started in the 2011-2012 year) were present. I found was I was looking for in a few moments; the conversation log that I had kept on there. It was the conversation log between Faith and me over the summer. I quickly copied the entire log into a Word document, and printed it out. I'll need it to convince Akira and Faith. No sooner had I done that, the bell had rung to signal the start of classes. I grabbed the conversation log, and headed to my classroom. However, upon reaching my classroom, I realized that my backpack was still sitting in front of my locker, after I forgot it during my talk with Faith. Exasperated, I ran back upstairs to my locker, and retrieved my backpack. When I got to Social Studies, I found Akira sitting in his desk.

"Exactly as I remember." I said to myself. I walked up to him. "Hey James." He greeted me.

I shrugged. "Not much. Listen Akira. I need you to do me a favour. Will you hear me out?"

Akira gave me an incredulous look, but did not refuse. "Sure. What's the matter?"

"Alright, I need you to meet me in front of Room 205 on the second floor at lunch today." I spoke at a feverishly fast pace. I hope he understood all I said.

Akira was baffled by my frenzy of words. "Okay…? I guess…?" He replied uncertainly.

I felt so relieved. "Oh thank God. Thank you Akira. Outside Room 205 at lunch, okay?"

"Yea…?" He probably thought I had gone funny in the head.

As our conversation winded down, the teacher walked into the class. "Class time, everyone. Please take a seat."

And so for the morning, I was barely able to sit. I was really excited to see my plan coming together. Room 205 was right beside Faith's locker. And once Faith gets there, I'll tell them both everything. And after that…I don't know. We'll have to see.

Lunch came. I quickly bolted upstairs to room 205. Faith was already beside her locker. And after waiting for a few minutes, Akira showed up as well. "Akira!" Faith sounded shocked. "What brings you here?"

Akira shrugged. "James called me here. He said he wanted me to do some favour for him."

I nodded. "Indeed. Faith, Akira, I need to speak to you both. Will you hear me out?"

They both nodded, but Akira still looked at me with wary eyes.

I took a deep breath before speaking. "This is a long story. You might not understand everything at first, but believe me. So, it goes something like this. The truth is, I've come back from the future, and…"

I explained the whole fiasco between me and Faith to the two of them. Both of them listened to my story. How Faith had confided in me about her boyfriend. How I had asked Akira to phone her. How Faith had left me. How she avoided me in the hallways, and how Akira gave me that scalding hot lecture. I also explained that these were events that happened in the future.

"…and as a result of those events, I felt very hurt and upset. And since I was given this knowledge beforehand, I wanted to speak to both of you about it and ask for help."

Faith had her eyes wide open like trays. She looked at me like I had mad cow disease. "James, that's not possible. How could you have traveled back from the future?"

I turned to face her. "I can prove it to you. I still have our conversation history over MSN. And all that stuff I told you about your boyfriend. You haven't told me about that yet, but I know exactly what happened."

I pulled out the conversation log that I had printed, and showed it to her. "Please read this. I never understood why your future variant had left me. I figured that you would be able to understand."

"Excuse me." Akira interjected. "I'd like to clear up a few points with you."

"Sure." I said.

Akira still had that suspicious glint in his eye. "So you're saying, that up until today, you lived in a world that was 8 months from now."

"Yes."

"And in that "8-months-from-now" world, Faith was no longer your friend, and tried to avoid you. I, as her best friend, also saw fit that you left her alone. As a result of several events that had accumulated over 4 months, you felt very hurt, and thus you came back here to try and enlist our aid?"

"That's about it."

Akira still didn't seem to buy it. "If what you are saying is true, I'd have to be shocked." He said with skepticism.

Faith was still reading the conversation log that I had given her. Her eyes seemed to focus on certain parts that appeared to be important. She read it thoroughly for a few minutes, before speaking again.

"I don't understand…" She said in a small voice. "I don't know why something like this would happen. I can't see why we'd suddenly go from being friends like right now to…to that."

I smiled grimly and nodded. "I don't know why either, but since it was your future variant that left me, and not the other way around, I though perhaps you'd have some answers."

I turned back to Akira. "Akira mentioned something like this. He said that I made you feel quote on quote insecure, and that you were afraid to come to school because of me. Does this sound correct?"

Faith shook her head furiously. "No way…Is that really what happened?"

I held a hand up to my forehead. "According to Akira's future variant, yes. Since you wouldn't talk to me in that world, I couldn't do anything but accept that as true."

Akira turned to Faith. "Faith, you don't seriously believe this, do you?"

Faith looked at me with a bit of uncertainty, but still nodded at me. "I believe him. James isn't the kind who would make things up like this."

I gave a small smile upon hearing that. I hadn't expected her to believe me so readily.

"Truth of the matter is I was hurt so badly by those events that I cried for the first time in two years." I said slowly with a sad voice. "But, I never blamed you for it. I know how you felt after… after he left you. I never stopped thinking of you as a friend. That's why when I came back, I wanted to try and understand what I may have done."

That's when something unexpected happened. Faith dropped the piece of paper in her hands and embraced me. I was stunned and taken aback. I had not expected that at all. After a few seconds, Faith let go of me, and looked right into my eyes. It's been a while since I've gotten a really good look at Faith's face like this. I was almost in tears right now.

"I'm really sorry about what happened to you James. I don't understand the whole story, but it sounds like I had really hurt you. Still, I'm glad that you never blamed me. You could have, but you didn't. Thank you."

I tried my best to smile without looking forlorn. "I'm really happy to hear that."

Akira was standing behind her, still giving me a suspicious look, but he seemed to be for the most part convinced. "Well, if what you say is true, let's just let time pass for a bit then. If the future turns out as you say, I'll see what I can do."

I nodded. Faith concurred with him. "The future isn't set in stone. We'll see about what happens later. We're still friends right now. That's what matters."

Upon hearing both statements, I felt a funny feeling in my chest. I really felt like crying now. Not in sadness, but in joy. As soon as I finished that thought, the bell went.

Akira turned around and vanished into the crowd of students that had now formed in the hallway. Faith said one last thing to me before she left. "Well, I should head to class now. See you later, James." She still had that magnificent smile that I loved to see on her. I smiled back and nodded. "Take care." I said.

We then both went our separate ways. While I was walking though the hallway, something strange happened again. My feet suddenly sank through the ground, and I found myself surrounded by darkness. What in the world? What happened to Newton's Law of Action and Reaction? I was struck something that felt like a strong wind. It felt like I was spinning around and around as if I were on a ride in an amusement park. I closed my eyes. Dang it, I'm going to throw up at this rate…And as suddenly as the wind came, it halted. When I opened my eyes, I found myself staring at the ceiling of my room. I was lying on my bed, still in my pajamas. When I looked to the left, I saw my smartphone lying on my night table. I felt so tired for whatever reason, and I could barely reach my phone with my hand. When I finally managed to grab my phone, I unlocked it and checked the date. November 8, 2011. I sighed, and put my hand to my forehead. A single tear drop rolled down from my cheek.

It had only been a dream.

_**Fin.**_

"It isn't good to be too focused on reality and forget how to dream."


	10. Bonus Chapter 2

**Bonus Chapter: Why were we here? **

And so, now it has been nearly 5 months since it happened. I still don't feel any better about it unfortunately. Any dreams or hopes of Faith and I becoming friends again seems to have been completely quashed. While I myself am more than willing to talk to her, she does not talk to me. She doesn't even look at me; she avoids eye contact with me, as if she'd turn to stone if she looked into my eyes. It doesn't stop help the widening rift that has grown between us at all. Other things have improved; my math mark has risen, and that is a small cause for celebration. But it seems that Faith was an overriding thought that never left my mind. It's sort of a pity in a way. Well, for me at least. If I were just able to put her out of my mind, I wouldn't be suffering as much as I am now. But for some reason, I never seem to have the will to do so. But it makes me think.

"I wonder…what would have happened if we never met…?" I whispered to myself. I was sitting in my room, reading through our conversation history on my laptop. I read through a few parts that made me smile a bit, and a few other parts that made me almost cry. Ah, it seems that I am too sentimental at times for my own good. And, so, as I looked to the screen, I decided to recreate a scene inside my own head; one that would seem fitting for a moment right like now. Dreams and imagination can make the impossible possible, after all. The fantasy continues…

….

"…" I waited patiently in the classroom. I looked around, checking my surroundings to make sure I was in the right place.

Currently, I was in my old ELA classroom. It also just so happens, that this was the place where I first met Faith. I can't recall the circumstance completely, but Faith told me that the time I spoke to her I had asked her about an assignment that we had been given about poetry. She said my exact words were "Faith, was it? What poem are you doing?" I had absolutely no recollection of that, so I was quite surprised when she told me that. It really brings back memories though. I had so much fun in my ELA class back in grade 10. There were a lot of fun and whacky things we did. However, the most significant thing was that I met Faith here. To be quite blunt, and I'm not overdramatizing here, it was a life changing experience.

Right now, I was waiting for Faith. I had asked her to meet with me, so we could talk for a while. I don't know for sure if she'll even come or not, but she isn't completely heartless, so I figured my chances were decent. Surely enough, after a few more minutes of wait, she entered the classroom. "Yo." I said, waving my hand. "Can you do me a favour and shut the door?"

Faith closed the door to the classroom, and then turned to face me again. It was eerily quiet; might have had something to do with us being the only two people in the room. Or maybe I was just overly nervous. "So, what do you want to talk about?" Faith asked me.

I exhaled and turned to face her. "Just about things in general. And about what happened."

I motioned for her to take a seat. Faith complied, but did not speak a word. A quarter note of silence passed before I started talking again. "So, I wanted to ask. Why? Why did you do it? What did I do wrong this time?"

Faith lowered her head slightly, and spoke in a voice that I could hardly hear. "Do you remember what you had said to me? Back during the summer?"

I shook my head. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"After I told you about what happened to me, you said that if you were stepping out of lines, I should push you away as well. You said that you might not be the same person you were then." Faith kept her head lowered, and didn't look up to face me.

But she had jogged my memory. Yea, I did recall saying something like that. I was really worried about her at the time, but I thought that perhaps I was bothering her too much. Faith didn't, however, mention the disclaimer I had added to that.

"Yes." I started again, this time more cautiously. "But you do recall, that I also said that I might not take it well. And I certainly didn't. Directly as a result of your actions both over the summer and 3 weeks ago, I have sunk into an unprecedented state of depression and mental grief."

Faith finally looked up at me, but there was something peculiar. I can usually tell what she's thinking just by looking at her face. But this time, her face had a mixed expression of sorrow and hatred that I couldn't seem to read. "I told you didn't I?" Her voice had been raised. "Keep your distance. It's better that way. I'm not as good of a friend as you think."

I smiled sadly. "But I still tried to be there for you. Was I overdoing it?"

Faith bit her lip, and returned her gaze to the ground in front of her. A small moment of silence passed before she resumed her train of thought. "It wasn't that you weren't there enough for me. You're just…different. You don't react the same way to what I say to you as others."

It was my turn to look away. I let out a sigh, before I gave my response. "Well, if that's the case, why did you block me on Facebook right after I asked you what's wrong? Was Akira right about me? Was I trying to help too much? Or should I say, did I make you feel insecure?"

Faith nodded her head. "Yea…I hate to say so, but…You were being a bit too nosy. And I think the reason for that was…because…you were too nice a person to me."

I remained silent for a moment to gather my thoughts. So Akira was right after all, huh? Doesn't make me feel any better. I sat up straight again. "You know, things would have been easier for me if I had just left you alone, huh? I guess I dug my own grave in a way."

Faith didn't answer, so I continued. "But even after what you did, first time and second time, I still couldn't call you anything but a friend. I suffered more and more pain because of that. It would have all been over with if I had said three words to you. But I never had the will or the heart to."

Faith suddenly bolted up and stared at me. She looked like a pigeon that just had a shotgun fired right in front of it. "Wait. You're not going to say I love you, right?"

I shook my head slowly. "No, not I love you." I paused for a moment. "It was…I forget you."

I stayed silent for the next few seconds to let Faith ponder over that. She didn't say a word, only sitting back down and staring at the floor again. The floor must have been pretty interesting.

After the dramatic pause was done with, I resumed my terse speech. "And that would have seemed logical, right? If I just left the dead buried, I wouldn't have had such a burden on my mind. And perhaps, I would have been able to concentrate better on my studies."

"But you didn't. Why?" Faith looked up at me again. This time, her face was filled with confusion and curiosity.

"Because that's not the way I am. I value my friends, and I won't force them out of my mind just because of something like that. I'm unorthodox that way." I answered firmly. "Naruto never gave up on Sasuke no matter how much Sasuke hurt him. I wanted to be able to do the same for my friends. Because that's what friends do. They help each other, and forgive each other."

Faith's gaze didn't shift away from me this time. She continued to look long and hard at me, which made me feel slightly uncomfortable. Finally, she relaxed her stare at me. Her eyes, which reminded me of liquid helium, gave me the impression that she wasn't as tense as she was a moment ago. "Well James…I…I'm not too sure what to say. But I want to know. Why would you ever concern yourself over me? You're sort of crazy, don't you think?"

I laughed softly. "Crazy? Who do you take me for? Do I need a reason to be worried about a friend?"

Faith eyed me like I was a stranger. "Well, what was it about me that was so special? I doubt you stay up past 12:00 AM and worry day in day out for all of your friends."

I shook my head. "No, you're right. I don't do that for everyone. But like I told you before, I don't know. For whatever reason, I just didn't want to see you walk out like that. But that reminds me. Let me tell you a story. Before I met you, there was this girl that I used to really like. Her name was Samantha."

Faith's eyes widened, which indicated to me that I had her attention for the time being. "Samantha was sort of similar to you. For one thing, you had similar hobbies. Another thing was how kind hearted you both were. But she had a different personality. She was really outgoing, and always seemed cheerful."

Faith nodded her head. "Alright, keep going."

I continued. "I liked her, but she had feelings for someone else. A boy named Kurtis. Now, that guy and I didn't get along very well. And I was quite jealous of him. It was similar to the situation that I have with you and Akira right now, with one big exception however. I had told her how I felt, but I also said that I'm probably just being stupid. She said I wasn't being stupid, and that she had thought as much from the very beginning. She agreed that it would be best if we remained friends and just forget about what had happened before. Soon after, we graduated from junior high, and went our separate ways. Even so, we still remained friends, and things ended on a good note for us."

Faith remained silent. I don't think I gave a detailed enough explanation. Ah well.

"But between you and me, things did go quite so well, did they?" I said. "That seems to bother to no end. And I know you don't care about me anymore. So why do I still worry about you? I know not. So-"

"Well if that's how you feel, why did you bother trying to stay with me in the first place?" Faith interrupted me with a hint of anger in her voice. "You could have just stayed away like I told you to!"

I was unmoved. "Yet I tried to stay with you, didn't I? I knew after summer that by befriending you, I'd have to pay a very steep price just to stay by your side. It would cost me a piece of myself. It would cost nothing compared to everything I'd save. Or so I thought. And yet I've paid the price, and yielded nothing. Instead, my friend abandoned me, never giving me a reason that I could understand until Akira spelt it out for me."

Faith clenched her fists, but did not make any attempts to punch me. "I'm scared James. I'm scared of you." She spoke in a strangled voice. "The way you always looked at me in the hallways after, the way you'd stand at a distance watching me…I was so scared that I didn't even want to go to school."

"I did no such thing!" I yelled furiously. Faith took a few steps back, her eyes filled with fear. Oops. Bad move. I should probably calm myself down before I do something stupid. I tried speaking again as calmly as I could. "I never did anything like that. I promised Akira that I would never bother you again. Besides, you still had him. You didn't need me. I was like a broken tool to you."

Oddly enough, Faith lowered her head once again. "Actually, Akira and I…"

"Yea?" I urged her to continue.

Faith looked hesitant to continue, but she made her choice and decided to tell me. "We're…not really friends anymore. He's left me. Just like everyone else."

I closed my eyes for a moment, and then gently shook my head. No, Faith. That's not it. Akira didn't abandon you. He was just trying to help you. I don't think she knew, but Akira didn't want her to become reliant on him. Akira wanted Faith to be able to stand on her own. But it didn't come across to her as that. Another side, another story, simply put.

I decided against vocalizing my thoughts, and feigned ignorance. "What happened this time?" I asked.

Faith shook her head. "I don't want to talk about it, okay?"

I narrowed my eyes and looked at her. "So, that's it? You think that all your friends have abandoned you? You think that you have no real friends left, huh? Is that it?"

Faith didn't answer, and only avoided my gaze. I continued, though I was started to get rather pissed. "If that's the case, you should think this over carefully. Look at both me and Akira. You know why I'm gone. You threw me away, because you never thought me a friend to begin with. But what about Akira? He was your best friend! Do you think that sort of thing just changes easily? If you really want to know what the problem is, then don't wonder why your friends abandoned you. Instead, think about why you threw your friends away!"

Faith opted for silence, and never looked my way. Seeing that she wasn't going to fess up, lowered my voice before speaking again. "I'm done chasing a ghost, Faith. You're not my friend. Why? Because the Faith I know wouldn't wonder why her friends abandoned her when she knows that she casted them away. The Faith I know wouldn't hurt a friend, because she'd rather die than hurt another person."

"…" Faith looked like she was about to break down in tears at any moment. But I continued on with my banter. "So, if it pleases you, if you're that scared of me, fine. I'll leave. You won't ever have to see my face again." I paused to think about what I would say next. "But if it's not too much to ask of you, don't ever regret meeting me."

Faith finally looked up at me, but only to shoot me a dubious look. Whatever. I decided not to mince words. "If it's not too much to ask, please don't forget the time when we were friends. Don't forget the good or the bad. That's all. I'm leaving."

I turned my back to Faith and walked out of the classroom. I never had a chance to see her face. I didn't know whether she was shocked, or if she thought that I had a few screws loose in my head. Either way, it's exactly as I said. I'm not going to bother with a ghost. My friend died the day she left. And that's going to be the only thing that I remember of her. Since many of the truths that we cling to depend greatly on our own point of view, my truth will be this: My friend had left me, and that's all I remember of her. Now, no matter what I do, or how hard I try to get her back, I'm always going to fail, because that's what things between us are based on now.

"…" Even so, I was still sure that I would still retain my sad memories. Despite trying to be like a soldier as much as possible, I was still human, with all too human emotions. But, I don't regret meeting her. Sure, I suffered, but that didn't matter to me. Sure, she sort of stabbed me in the back, but I was fine with that. She was my friend, and that's why I trusted her with my back. And I guess, that's all I need to know. With those last thoughts, I walked down the hallway and didn't look back.

….

I stopped imagining, and returned to reality. I looked down at my uncompleted math homework, and then too my laptop with conversation logs displayed. I smiled. Even if I had been hurt badly, it doesn't really matter to me. Even though I had lost my friend forever, there was still one thing that put a smile on my face. I know now that even someone like me could be empathetic. Even someone like me could care about others. Even someone like me could go above and beyond for the sake of someone else. And that gave me a small feeling of pride and joy. I closed my laptop and looked outside my window. It was almost Christmas time. I guess I better start thinking about what I want for Christmas this year…Actually, I think I know what I want my present to be already. But, I don't think Santa is that omnipotent. Haha, we'll see sooner or later.

_**Fin.**_

"If an injury has to be done to a man it should be so severe that his vengeance need not be feared."


End file.
